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Ramblings, Stories, Fantasies
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2020-07-15 11:48:18 (UTC)

What a Wednesday


Ever wake up and feel lost inside that you almost died?
Ever stepped out away from the light and realized there’s a stranger inside?
Took some personal time this morning, was seriously needed. Not the same, but, ya know what, still released some frustration.

Feels like one of those days.
Was hitting rock bottom.

Been up since 2 this morning.

Things weren’t good last night between Indio and myself
He had his tv so loud I couldn’t hear anything, not even my own tv in my room
So sent a text I couldn’t hear him or anything but his tv so was going to shut the video off, and he shut it off and complained I wasn’t talking
I couldn’t even hear myself

I have some mixed music playing today to pick up my mood a bit and get the hamster out for some air.

Got some NWA a bitch is a bitch

Enrique Iglesias Tonight I’m fuking you is playing at the moment

Just doing some random music. Should pick me up a bit. Give my mind a rest as well.

Kinda aggravated....why don’t people listen? I made a statement that I would call today, didn’t want to be on the phone yesterday because of the storms that were rolling in......
Mind you, I forgot I have my appointment today.
So if I do any calls it will have to be before noon.

RolyPoly called yesterday. Crying. Was thankful for the card and pictures I sent.
I ended up explaining the situation here, and she said she would button up her place in Florida and move in with me to help do things that need to be done and cover the bills here, till I can get my disability. She loves and cares.
She was upset I was push mowing the yard yesterday, but I got it done. Took 6 times with breaks in between.

I know someone who has a lease up in 2 months and needs a place, not coming here. Already stated he doesn’t wanna drive back and forth, and I would cramp his drinking.
I am jumping to conclusions but I think he was drinking last night.
There’s a ton of distance between us. And I have no clue what to do about it.
I don’t like the nasty comments, being called an ass, even tho he apologized, it still sits in my mind. He’s clearly not happy. Everyday he’s upset with something I say, and he claims he’s not. His words and attitude says other wise.

Anyho, I ordered my coffee, creamer, jerky, water, etc and it will be here tomorrow.
Leaves me with 200 for other food.
Sheldon is begging for chips, lol.
Will make a grocery list and try to go today or tomorrow.

But, I’m going to get more coffee, and relax my mind.
Read a few scriptures, and do my usual laundry and dishes and what not that I need to get to done.

(Michael Bolton When I’m back on my feet again) perfect timing!
I seriously need to get back to being me. I’m tired of allowing others to break me. I seriously need to shut down my emotions to others. I need to focus on me, and what makes me happy, and if that means taking a break from certain people, then so be it.

I got another stupid message from Dew Drop, ———Only going to wait for so long.......but I’ll still be around like (town I live in) hahaha
I’m going to figure out what I’m going to do about this nuttcase.
He’s like so unglued more than I am.

Ok, so, will look for my iPod, grab more coffee and get the day started.

Till later....
Reminder, doctor appointment today after noon.....
So will probably update after that.

Close the eyes
And escape into a peaceful place