Experienced Life
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2020-07-14 19:34:02 (UTC)

Even a badass can get knocked down 😔

I can handle a lot of things in life. I can handle multiple baskets spilling over and I'm still standing strong as ever. Lately, I got hit with too many negatives. Stupid Facebook posts memories of the past. Exactly two years ago. It was the last time my ex gf and I went on a trip together at a nice timeshare. I remember the details. We were making love. Little did I know it was the last time. She was on top of me. Riding me with a lot of passion. Not too fast and not too slow. Just a contact rhythmic grinding as I looked at her face. I could see the passion she was feeling. Her face was flush and when she was close, her eyes closed as she said she was cumming. Second later, she lost control and inhaled deeply with her teeth closed. You could hear her inhaling through her teeth in a 1/2 smile 1/2 grimace as she was about to cum. Then of course the involuntary convulsion from her slim abs and her long legs. And of course, when she came hard, she squirted. Rarely but she did once in awhile. She did this time too and I could feel her hotness dripping down my cock trickling down the rest of my body. Seemed to last forever but she finally subsided and collapsed on my chest. Then it was my turn and I got on her and rode her for another 20 min at least. Last weekend, I used my go pro and didn't realize I didn't use it since my last kayaking trip with me ex gf. Of course, there's pics and vids of it. As if I needed to see that again. So yeah. While it's a nice memory, I don't think it's healthy for me to look back at the past. She didn't deserve me. I shouldn't be missing her. Still....sigh.

Work is for shit right now with unorganized projects that just irks the hell out of me and the lack of teamwork with this idiot peer that I work with. First time in a long time I don't feel like working.

I got my 100K serviced in my car and now it's making a funny clunking sound when it hits some bumps or speed bump. They did mention that one of the motor mounts is broken but I didn't drive it much since so I think they broke it when doing the 100K service. Damn!!!

Next pay is going to be our modified pay due to CA needing to cut down on funds. So of course, you wack the working people first in lieu of some crap program that isn't really needed. So instead of the 7.5% raise next pay, I'm getting a cut in pay. Crap!!!

Today, the deli in our campus was open again. There is this Chinese lady that is cute and flirts with me. Each time she asks me more and more slightly personal questions. Today was the first time I saw her in over a month or maybe even two. She chatted as usual while making me my anti-siesta afternoon coffee. We talked about paying rent while in lockdown. She said the bank gave her a 3 month break of no paying mortgage. She still owes but said they let her not pay for 3 months. Then she pops that question "Do you have a woman in your home?" I was thinking "WTF?!" Pretty bold but I told her the truth. I said nope. Just me. So I in turn ask her "Are you married?". She stalled, got quiet, and timidly said "yes". Pffft!! I just thanked her for the coffee and walked away.

The gym? Something is wrong with me. I worked out 5 days last week. This week, I worked out for the 2nd time and both days I felt off. No endurance, weak, dizzy, and who knows what else? I suspect because of this Covid weight gain, I'm struggling to keep up with the extra 10 lbs of weight gained. I'm still always one of the hardest working and fastest but I am hitting the wall. It wasn't like that before and I don't know if something is wrong with me.

Got home and decided to use the bathroom that my ex loony-roomie used to use. I rarely use it because you know... less to clean that way. Well, I decided to use it and guess what? It fricking plugs up. It's been doing it since the last 2 months loony-roomy was living with me. I don't know what the hell loony-roomie used to flush down the toilet but now it's worse and I have to call in for service. Fricking bee-atch gets me even when she's gone.

I also have another surgery next month and it's to tweak the surgery on my neck they did 11 years ago. I'll be out of commission again and I'll miss out on all the trips and camping events my group planned this summer. I won't even be able to hit the gym for awhile.

And for the grand finally? My Mom died a few weeks ago. I just didn't mention it because there's nothing that can be done about it. She's in Hawaii and I'm in CA. We weren't the closest so don't feel too sorry for me. I didn't have the best upbringing and I won't talk about it right now. But yeah, she died. I can't go to the funeral in Hawaii because they have a 14 day quarantine when you get there. You can't leave you hotel room for 14 days. You can't even leave for a funeral. You must stay isolated. So what's the point? I won't be able to attend the funeral anyway. Oh yeah, I got 3 brothers and two Sisters. Guess what? Yup!! fFighting about the will. Mom had a $1,000,000 dollar home and other things. Cash disappeared. The house is possibly now going to one brother? Last I saw it was split between the 6 brothers and sisters but now everyone is fighting about it. Except for me. I don't care. I didn't earn any of it. Still, one last effe-you to me the black sheep of the family. Everyone ganged up on me. Until my parents started giving them crap and all of a sudden, they came to my side. The dark side. Uh huh.

All this and I didn't even mention any Covid crap . Sigh... Sometimes... I get too tired of it all.