༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻

Ramblings & RL Stories
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2020-07-10 20:34:20 (UTC)

Dew Drop / Pro and Con

Dew Drop:

1. I felt the truest feelings and emotions when I was with him. Like the world stood still.
2. I looked into his eyes and just got fluttered with emotions of wishing I could have us entangled together to complete each other and make us both whole.
3. He was genuine in wanting me to lighten up and enjoy life.
4. He brought me back spiritually with the Lord. I returned to church and read the Bible and prayed daily.
5. I was beginning to trust again after being cheated and lied to from my ex of 4 years.
6. He helped me start drawing lines in the sand with my daughters who were physically and verbally abusing me and taking me for granted.
7. Helped me draw a line with my ex who was taking me for granted still
8. The way he said my name, so softly, made me melt inside.
9. He was not big, but because I cared so deeply and truly, I seldom left unhappy.
10. We had the same views on life, and connected right off the bat.
11. I trusted him enough, to be the first guy I met in real life after talking for a week.
12. My son enjoyed being around the family.
13. His grand daughter absolutely loved me.
14. My son felt secure enough to go places with them with me not around
15. Kept things in serious OCD place
16. Was observant to my overthinking
17. Said I was the most beautiful woman on the planet
18. Did appreciate the cards and gifts I gave to him and his family

1. He was an hourly pot smoker (hid that from me first few times we met)
2. Became withdrawn when he needed to deal with something, never sharing the problem or issue with me
3. Would talk down to me ie: you need to let go of your ex’s (but he talked to his daily), demanded what he will and won’t tolerate in an angry dominant tone
4. Started out chatting and talking for hours on end, then after meeting, made excuses to why we couldn’t chat
5. Only made time for me when he wanted me up there on the weekend
6. Watched me self harm in front of him and didn’t care
7. Made the comment “I just want someone to have fun with”
8. Lied to get on his SSD because he doesn’t want to work
9. Been arrested numerous times for Domestic (men, one daughter, and an ex)
10. Lied, never told me he was still legally married
11. Became threatening when I started to distance myself
12. Called me names and would put me down, and tell me my line of thinking is wrong, not his
13. I asked when will he take me on an actual date (never happened)
14. Was angry I never invited him to my home
15. Complained I never came without my son, he felt as an 11 year old he should have stayed alone all weekend by himself
16. Was insecure, asking who I was talking to, didn’t like the fact I had male friends for years (some 11 years) that I talked with once a week (never slept or met in real)
17. Never wanted to listen to my thoughts, fears, dreams, etc
18. Always complained when I repeated something (my memory is not as sharp as it used to be)
19. Was offended when I brought extra fun things to speed up my process (said it meant he wasn’t doing his job)
20. When I had free food to give his family, refused to meet me 1/2 way, demanded I bring it all the way there (hour drive one way)
21. Said I scared him, when I would watch him sleep, and lay there smiling.
22. Said I idolized him (I just admired him that much, not idolized)
23. He couldn’t accept me and my baggage brought him down
24. He knew I was an alcoholic, and let me drink
25. Was self absorbed, never took the time to show he truly wanted me in his life
26. Always had to be right

I’m sure there is more......cons than pros......but think that’s enough to get the just of it.
Sadly, I still truly love and miss him