༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻
Ramblings & RL Stories
Well, my session went well.
I feel like I’m doing well in a lot of aspects.
I, did NOT self harm yesterday. I did NOT drink. Both urges were through the roof when he just showed up and had been drinking.
He did ask me if I was mad, because he sensed my attitude change, and I simply said, Nope, it’s your life, do as you wish, but understand, there might be consequences to the behavior.
One is, I walk away.
Is it right? Well, for my sanity, yes.
I am not one to walk away so easy. I put 110% into everything.
So, my plan is.....
1. Next time he is here, explain, I am a recovering alcoholic, you know this, and know my struggle, and know, I simply can NOT be around it, period.
2. Let him make his choice, to drink, or not, and if he chooses to drink, I will, walk away.
He has, on two occasions, been arrested for domestic violence while under the influence, and, yes, both, were women. He claims they pushed him to that angry state, and his actions were a combination of their actions and his drinking......
Now, if you know this, been sober 2 years (so he claims) why start now?
Are you trying to push me away? Are you that selfish? Are you not serious about us? Are you that arrogant to think I won’t walk away? Knowing, from my history, that I will disappear and you will not be able to contact me again, because I’ve done it with Dew Drop back in March. He was not a drinker, I was, but he was a druggie, so I fell off the wagon being around that mess, hence why I can NOT be near, smell, taste, nor see alcohol. I’m just not strong enough.
But, I am doing a quick jot down. I will be back to finish after I feed my son some dinner and run into town to grab smokes....(yes, on the patch, but still smoke every few hours)
Hang on snoopy, I will be back 🤪