༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻
Ramblings, Stories, Fantasies
Just getting up
All I’ve done since Monday afternoon is sleep
Can’t pinpoint why I’m so tired
I’m going to rant a bit today
I get it....
Sex is absolutely great, or, it can be....if done properly so to speak.
A ton of women, know, that if they are going to sleep with a man partner, there is a dang good chance, that they aren’t going to be completely satisfied unless they do it for themselves.
Women, in general, now a days should be used to not being satisfied while with their partner.
The point is.....
Men, in general, are just plum selfish. Especially when it comes to their sexual needs.
(Mind you, I said, IN GENERAL, not all)
As long as the man can finish, they don’t exactly care about anything else. It amazes me, how many women, sleep with a man, and are left to finish themselves off in private. No wonder the female race has become either lesbian, or bisexual.
The woman is left to finish herself off, AND clean up the mess the man made while he was in his euphoria.
Why do they do it? I get you just want to get your rocks off, who doesn’t? But there certainly is a massive difference when it comes to men and women in the sexual aspect of life.
Men, can shove themselves into just about anything and get their rocks off, but for women, (not all), it takes time, and emotional connections, to hit our peak. Men, just don’t take the time and effort to truly pleasing the women, then complain when we stop putting spice into the relationship. For women, it doesn’t matter how long you suck, bounce, or how much you please him, if he gets satisfied, he’s done and happy. It’s not his job to get your rocks off, simply because, he doesn’t care.
If you have sex with someone, you have an unwritten contract, to complete the task at hand.
Just because we weren’t born with a second head, does not mean we are inferior or deserve any less of the pleasures than you.
Men only worry about knocking a chica up, where women, we have the responsibility, the pain, the work, maintenance, and we are treated like dirt because we are female.
Men call us crazy, and psychotic, and that we drive them insane, but truly, it’s the other way around.
I personally, can say, for a month, I have made him happy, no matter the position, in less than 10 minutes, and there was zero effort to even get me started......plus, it’s normally, “I need this because I’m leaving for the week”, so basically, gets it, and leaves. Not once has an effort been made to show me he cares about me and my emotion or feelings during the pleasure.
I’ve recently, spent a week, taking care of him when he needed me, however, that has not been returned. I’ve had some health issues the past two weeks. I am starting to completely feel like I don’t really matter. His life revolves around him, his needs, his wants, his desires, and I, have done nothing but upset him, one way or another.
He’s a great guy, don’t get me wrong. But we aren’t on the same page for the path month.
I get the empty promises.
The, “I will move closer to you” when we met, to, “you should move to Florida” now. So, what the heck are we doing? Am I just here to pass your free time, when your game buddies, and RL are boring?
I’m seriously, not going to wait and have him say he will do, because, it won’t be done.....it doesn’t benefit him. If I need something done, I have to do it myself, and then listen to him complaining about how I don’t listen.
I will get a battery for the rider so you aren’t push mowing......he stated.
2 weeks passed, and I bought the battery and springs, and fixed the rider myself.
Not once, has he cooked a meal. But he claims to be a mean cook, but have yet to see it.
I, will no longer be cooking. I had some unopened ham in the fridge, not checking the date, I gave it to him, not realizing it was out of date, and he was angry at me, saying I was trying to kill him with food poisoning.
My son and I, don’t eat but one meal a day, and we munch the rest of the time. So, I’m sorry, I had no clue, it was out of date. I don’t think to check.
I did get my carpets steam cleaned. My heavens, they were nasty. Used a pet shampoo because his little princess who can do no wrong keeps using my carpet as her toilet.....even tho.....she’s house trained.....but is alone in an apartment for 10 hours or more, and I have the same pet mats he has and she won’t use it.
I’m guessing you can say, I’m slightly unhappy. He’s a great guy, good intentions, but falls short on showing me, in my opinion, that I matter. He used to listen to what bugs me, he doesn’t ask anymore, and if I say something, he gets upset, so I’ve learned to button my lip, put a smile on, and fake it, so he doesn’t complain “you’re such a negative person “
He knew up front, I was honest, but despite my growth, he doesn’t see any growth I’ve done.
I’ve grown a ton since March.
1. I am 94 days sober (man it’s tough as all heck)
2. I am 34 days SH free
3. I’ve learned to draw boundaries with some people (kids/dew drop)
4. I’ve started charting sleep, activities, calories on my Fitbit
The past 30 days my depression has been not so bad, however, the past 3 days have been tremendous. And it’s ok. I’m human. I’m allowed to be who I am.
I can honestly say....
1. I work hard at every task.
2. I have a huge genuine heart
3. I love, unconditionally
4. I am certainly not lazy
5. I do for myself more than I should
6. I push myself to overcome issues
7. I work my therapy and practice my skills
8. I am a beautiful looking woman
9. I deserve to be treated like I matter
10. I’ve learned to not take blame for how someone feels
So, under it all, I’m doing better. I still have a super long road ahead of me, even if I do it alone in the physical rl sense, it’s ok.
I have some financial hurdles to overcome, but am praying daily, the Lord will lead me in the correct path for me.
I’m no longer going to sit back, and wait for someone to help make me happy, it’s my job to make myself happy. Once I get there, then I will evaluate the people in my life, and decide if they stay or go. I will no longer believe in people. Only believe in myself.
And with that, going to shower, drink coffee, and go to make a return that came broken in the mail, send out my usual cards to people who don’t appreciate my cards, (all but one), and grab a few things desperately needed for every day life, on a credit card I can’t pay, and try to enjoy the day, even tho, I’m behind on bills and my phone will possibly be shut off tomorrow......life, rolls on. I have to keep going.....alone in the human form, but with God in the spiritual form, and have him hold me along the way.
Have a beautiful Tuesday......
We, are all mad......we are all beautiful.......we are all, crazy.