Ninja Girl

Diary of a Breakup
2020-07-03 17:18:05 (UTC)

My email draft to him

Well since it's been on my mind nonstop, i started the draft of the email that i'll send next Friday if i don't her anything sooner:

So I've been mulling it over and I'm gonna just bow out of the surgery completely.

I'm crazy, insanely grateful and appreciative of the offer you made to do it, I don't want you to think I feel otherwise. 

I just am not in a position to wait 6 weeks to determine if I can get surgery that will impact my life for a while during recovery (esp when it's school starts up, which will most likely be at home again so i'll be in teacher mode). I can't wait until mid-August to find out. 

I'm not all that comfortable waiting over a month for someone I don't even know to decide what happens to my body. 

I thought the biggest risk we had was simply her finding out and thinking you were a dick; not that she could impact my ability to get surgery or that you'd face a third time of her threatening to quit. If I had known that, I wouldn't have made the appointment last year. I'm sorry it had that much at risk, I had no idea :(

I've already picked out another doctor to do it, I wasn't in a massive rush but this is the perfect time where I'll have help at home with the kids and i won't have to take time off work so I figured i might as well nip this in the bud sometime this year. I probably could use that deposit $$ back but ONLY if it won't cause more discord between you and ((her name)). If it'll cause any more issues, then i'll just eat the cost. 

I can't stress enough how sorry I am that it caused this much drama. I had no idea it had the potential to be this bad. And I really, really do appreciate the offer and what you risked to try and provide it. 

I'm still willing to do whatever i can do on my end to repair whatever damage, although I'm not sure what I could say or do that wouldn't make her feel more uncomfortable. But let me know, i don't want to leave you deserted in this mess. 

Kind of goes without saying that if she has the power to decide if i can even get the surgery then she definitely wouldn't ever be cool with you and I being together down the road so....yeah. There's that. 




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