Do Not Disturb

2020-06-30 18:34:35 (UTC)

Two weeks

Well, C will be gone in Florida for two weeks. I wish I can tag along but I know I can't even if, I asked. I know his girlfriend will be with him as well. That's what I asked him yestersay last night in the car when he took me home from work and he got so mad but then I had a whole break down about it and everything because... I can't help that I still had and still have strong feelings for you. I mean we kissed, had sex, invitied each other over each other houses and layed in beds and cuddled but then that's when you got back with your girlfriend just because you been on a break with for months and now things are starting to change. You almost didn't come last night but you promised but it was only for a little while because your mother kept calling your phone at least that's what you told me. You say you have feelings for me yet we're still just friends. We almost kissed last night but you didn't want to hurt me because you have a girlfriend. And now that your gonna be in Florida for two weeks. I mean... Who knows what's gonna happen when you get back ??? You said you was gonna see me in an hour or so but... Why couldn't you just have come earlier and we would've spent time with each other but now you're gone off to Florida???

Last night, you suggested we needed some space from each other and I cried again because I don't want that and I knew it was gonna happen because I brought her up because you got mad about it but I can't help it that you didn't want to be with me in the first place. It will be hard for me to trust and believe anything a guy will say to me again. EVER !!!

I shouldn't have never gotten myself through this situation in the first place. I should've just trusted my gutt to realize your just gonna hurt me like every other guy that I've met in the past and liked and now look where it has gotten me. Hurt. You comforted me in the car even held my hand and kissed me on my forhead while I had a breakdown in front of you. I never wanted a guy to see me cry but I couldn't help it. I like being around you. I wanted to block you so bad after what you did to me when you went back out with your girlfriend not thinking about what we had or did. You said you did but you didn't. But you two been together for three years and theirs nothing I can do about it now. From now on, I'll just wait and be patient until the right guy comes around instead of just rushing. I say this all the time and I get hurt all the time. I told you how I felt about you and you still went back out with her for months. Not knowing what you two had going on because its " between you two" like you said. I just wanna give up on love and love itself because... What's the point in waiting for a happily ever after if its NEVER gonna happen at all ??? For me.

Mood : Heartbroken Again 💔

- A

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