Emily

Day In the Life of an American Teen
2020-06-28 02:16:27 (UTC)

Heart Attack

He texted me. He really texted me. I gotta calm down. I gotta chill. I gotta be chill. I gotta prepare myself. It's gonna hurt when he rejects me but it's gonna be okay. I just need him to do it. It's fine. It's not the end of the world. I'm fine. It's fine. I'm great. He'll just say "Ok." That's all it's gonna be. It's not a big deal. This is the last time I'll ever have to see his username again. After this, I'll delete the pictures and everything will be fine.

He said. "For" Just for. I wish he would've said okay. that would've been fine I would've been coolw ith that.

I just said For making you think you were in trouble when I got caught.

I feel like I'm about to just deteriorate. Overheat like a fucking computer and shut down. Why is this making me feel like this? How deep did he get isnide my head?

He said, "Am I in trouble?"

"No I just thought that you thought that you were in trouble."

God I sound so stupid. I'm so pathetic. He knows that. I was right. He doens't care. He moved on. I'm so dumb for thinking otherwise. I can't believe I had myself convinced that he might've sort of loved me. He's too good of a liar. Too good at faking it. How do you fake it for almost 2 years? 2 years.

All he said was "mmm." Do I leave him on read? I just said Cool. NO emotions, nothing. It's cool. Chill. Good. And all he said was "mmmm."

Come on. If he's gonna do it just do it. We both know there's shit to be said. Just say it or reject me already. He said, "So who's this?"

God what a liar. He already asked if he was in trouble. He already knows why he could be in trouble and who he could be in trouble with. He knows.

30 min later and there I have it. He blocked me. I can't cry. I was expecting it. it'd be stupid to cry now. I want to keep trying so bad. My chest hurts. I'll cry just for tonight and then I gotta be over it.




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