ish

ish
2020-06-21 08:55:49 (UTC)

bent woods......

pain has subsided.........my mood is eh.....restless...wonders why any would give someone a choice to make when they arnt even gonna be around for a week at a time.....for me things fade...and the spark will fade if its not nutured some.....

so not sure how i will deal with this.......im not gonna get pregnat jsut for some guys ego when he isnt gonna be around....
i am dealing this time differently with things.......i really want to take off this stupid collar...just seems like a marker for when he needs his.....and i guess that fine..but once again should feed the animals every so often or give clue of when you will be around i guess............i dont even know...i dont want to make the same mistakes....i know i try and top from the bottom......seems to be my nature to challange....but i dont want it seen as being anything other than it is....so i will deal with it and not mess....will ask him for some power of the collar so i feel in some control of something....i cant at the moment go to tourneys that do script counts with the collar cuse its so dence with scripts......and if i am wearing a tilter i cant go to the threater...........i know its probably pettty.....but if your not gonna be here......let me enly what i do..im not only there to fuck .....so many other things...........so not sure how or what about any of this....i do hope he got the job..and most like he is getting things in order...but that order could be that i dont see him cuse of hours and rl stuff........so not sure where we are on any of it.............i enjoy him ...and we have fun..i dont want to really be free of it ...he is a big turn on to me........so i dunno.....i guess time will tell and ill make a choice i guess.......




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