having a voice on twitter. i do.
maybe it was just the attention.
something to be "good" at.
the one thing.
my humanity is low at this juncture. i can spin it as wanting the silence and avoiding embarrassing social miscues. but damn. this is anemic and unfulfilling to say the least. so out of praxis with love. my heart is literally dying. it's been dying for so long i don't know, know how to stop the death. i gave up looking for love. i'm bad it. i can't express it neurotypi-- maybe at all anymore. i feel like a rigid bag of stale chips. with dust on the bag. still thinking about *redacted* daily. failure. failed human. brutalized by existence. stripped bare by consciousness.