I’m so lonely
People all around me, friends online, friends I could meet up with. But I need to snuggle with someone. I need to hold on to them. I need them to hold on to me. I have a boyfriend but he won’t touch me. These past two weeks he gets all bothered when I touched him. Today he didn’t even want to walk back home with me. We used to hold hands as we’d go back to his house. Today he walked to get away, I couldn’t even walk beside him. We didn’t even get half way before he wanted me to just walk the other direction. I didn’t even get to walk home with him. And today his grandmother said he had to comeback for dinner, he could have left at 5:00-5:30 but decided to leave by 3:00. It feels like he’s pushing me away when i need physical attention. I’ve been so depressed these past few days to the point where my heart feels like it’s collapsing in on itself. It hurts so much and I barley slept last night. Stayed up crying until 4am when I passed out. And my boyfriend was finally able to come over today but didn’t even want to stay for 2 hours. I won’t ever get what i need in a relationship if I’m single, but it certainly doesn’t feel like I will get what I need from staying in this relationship. I kept telling myself he might just be in a mood, but it’s been going on for two weeks. I’m not sure how much more I can take.