Live my life♥

Many things happened

Amid all the chaos many things happened since I left job I mean since Nov. Initially it was good like we both had a trip to Shirdi and Himachal had good time, then I visited Pune couple of times and realized that the wedding is seems t be not happening and the bitterness started in our lives still I would say things were under controlled because I controlled it, we did fight over wedding topic. But the situation got bad when he was not able to settle in his job, he wasn't getting the project even after 4 months and now i guess he will complete 6 month i dont know his status now. he started getting so frustrated and irritated by this that he would just not be interested in talking to me, my jokes were no funnier, calls would be short as 5mins, he would not like if i ask him about his work progress saying he gets stressed if discussed, he would get angry if asked about wedding saying i was not understanding his situation, amid this all i wanted him to talk to me because long distance lock down was making me miss him a lot, he said he was also but i never saw that all he was into his tension of thinking about what if this and that. i supported him a lot in his stressed situation but it also started bothering me later when i see him so negative constantly even if i make him understand. also he said n=me one day that if we get married he have to postponed our honeymoon, he might have to contribute more money to his parents, he also have to contribute to his sisters wedding and we have to also postpone family planning. we had an argument because i felt that i was imposed his decisions and i was no where in his priority. when I disagreed to his points we snapped me saying I should be supporting him I was felt unimportant the decisions which was to be discussed by us both was just concluded by him, next day he said to forget all as he was over thinking. I don't know what was this all. I never felt important or wanted. I always said him that he can live without me and he was never bothered if i was away or if i was not talking or angry.
I may not be angry or may not hate you for all this but still you are the blamable. what so ever the reason was this was not suppose to happen. I am also in worst phase of my life and i guess worst than what you are going through but i stall had my calm and you were my strength baby wasn't i yours?
2020 took away everthing from me also you. all promises,love claims you did was lie. I love you with my all heart and you you just broke my trust.
still god bless but you may always miss my presence in your life.
Love you Loved you.....