Chloris

Pesky Ponderings
2020-05-30 22:09:12 (UTC)

Time

Sometimes I wish that I could write letters to the past. I'd like to send myself advice, links to good music and tips on what fandoms to join. A lot of it is very shallow. For example, I wish that I had read Homestuck earlier. I wish that I had watched some TV shows when they were new, and avoided getting spoiled.
Some things, though, are a little more complicated than that. What if I had been a better friend? What if I had studied harder? Enjoyed the moment more? Of course, there's no way to know if my past self even would have listened to any advice I give. That's the tricky thing about living in the present. I should have done x, I should do y. Should should should.
Eventually, it's as if the "do" part falls away, forgotten somewhere in the process. Doing things requires practice, determination and motivation. You can get by without one of them, but if too many prerequisites are missing the task turns into an insurmountable obstacle.

Perhaps I shouldn't be wishing for a way to send letters to my past. Maybe the right thing to wish for would be the strongest will. The will to move mountains, achieve my dreams and wash the dishes.
Another thought for the endless pile of word salad in my mind.




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