Perfectly Broken

Distraction
2020-05-27 08:22:26 (UTC)

I’m still trying to figure out ..

I’m still trying to figure out life.

Why people do the things they do and say the things they say.

It drives me crazy some days when I see too much. I see more than others notice and there are moments I want to scream out loud.

He mentioned that some girl he dated a few years ago texted him out of the blue. That she had said that he didn’t want to date her because his mom was sick. So he goes into this story about how he texted her back all the crap he had gone through this past year and that he has a girlfriend now and he said he didn’t get a reply...

Really? Why even tell her anything? How bout “hey I am I a relationship and I am very happy now so fuck off”???

But he didn’t. And that scares me. I asked him why he just didn’t say that. He didn’t answer. And then he went off about some more girls he dated in the past.

I am not sure if that is supposed to make me feel better. I can tell you that it doesn’t. I don’t bring my past into this present. I don’t flaunt crap in his face. I know better.

It’s always makes me feel second. And that just hurts. It makes me think too much wondering if I am the one he wants. Or if I am just another notch in his bedpost.

I hate this. I hate feeling like this. I don’t think it will ever happen where someone just wants to be with me.

I wish someone could see all the qualities I have. All my imperfections and how I am who I am. And accept that. Show me that who I am is acceptable.

Let me be me. And let me be.




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