Broken Glass Park
A Great Purpose Already Fulfilled
A few people have told me that I still have a purpose, even if I don't know what it is yet. What if I already served my purpose? What if my purpose was to be there and help my husband through the last days of his life? I like this idea better than waiting to find out what this unknown purpose is. And of course, maybe it is meant for me to create my own purpose. Either way, I think this purpose will be my secondary purpose in life. My first and most important was already fulfilled. And if that was my only purpose and I just have to live out the rest of my life, however long that is, then I have such peace in that knowledge. It doesn't give me an excuse to be lazy in life, but I can relax and don't have to worry about finding or figuring out what my "purpose" is.
If that was my only purpose in life, I am happy in that because I love my husband.
If I have many more years on this Earth without him, the only reason I can think of for that is because God intends for us to die naturally, of old age. That certainly doesn't happen all the time with everyone, but eventually something kills you and if it is old age, then that is the most natural and best way to go.
I'm an impatient person, so I don't want to wait for some purpose or try to figure out one. Maybe in time, I'll create one. And that, I think, is true patience, and I should acquire it. Not worry about what this "purpose" everyone else talks about, is. It's my secondary purpose in life and I think that, only because I believe I have many more years of life to go... so, hopefully I will make them meaningful somehow.
But, I'm not going to worry about it... because yeah, I actually have worried. That's how I am.
I'm not about to brag in the following paragraph. It's not a pat on the back to myself. This is not something to try to make myself look great. I'm only clarifying this because I am writing this publicly, though it is anonymous, thank goodness. I'm tired of defending myself when I probably don't need to. Maybe in time, I'll learn to stop doing this. But, anyways... What I'm about to write is for me; it is what I have realized lately that has given me much peace of mind.
I helped someone through the last days of their life and that person was my husband and that means everything to me.