Tainted Human Garbage

Insecure and Butthurt
2020-05-16 13:21:54 (UTC)

Hmm hmm hmm

Willst du, bis zum Tod der Scheide, Sie lieben auch in schlechten Tagen? NEIN.

Even though I get angry and frustrated at myself so often, I'm not guilty and not sorry.
I should not be angry at myself. It is a good day. It is a good life. I have good pay for the time being and a good job with it. I love Satan and consider myself a Satanic warrior.

I stopped cutting myself, for good I think, over a month ago, but I still chant the phrase "Cut Me Hurt Me Cut Me Hurt Me Cut Me Cut Me Cut Me Cut Me" sometimes. This phrase from Rammstein calls to mind my ideas that I need to be more detached. More macho, basically. My job is like some woman, some would-be moralizing force, and I am interested in it but not that attached to it.

In the hate of battle, might makes Satan right. I am Satan and am immersed in pleasure and sin. Hooves steeped in blood.

I usually love avoiding light and immersing myself in darkness. I wonder if that was contributing to my anxiety and angst though.
I've started following more conventional light practices in order to have a good circadian rhythm.

This was a good check-in.




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