La Flaca

Las Tortugas y Yo
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2020-05-15 21:45:25 (UTC)

Love letters I never got.

At one point in my life I got engaged I was 19 and in love or at least I thought I was, he propose to me after only have dated for a couple of months it was a very nice proposal, he made sure I was asleep and filled the bedroom with roses while I slept had roses all over the room lit up some candle lights all while I was very asleep I did not feel his presence at all, so he put on that son of Enrique Iglesias "Hero" he had open the proposal wring in a box next to my pillow so when the music started I opened my eyes to a very romantic scene, I said yes even though a part of me was not sure about him. Make a long story short we kept on dating and he met my parents my brothers and sisters and they all loved him, but a few months in our relationship he began to change a lot, he was very aggressive and bossy, irritated all the time, and I knew something was off, we even began to have arguments about how much he was working and doing overtime hours with so little sleep, things began to worry me very quickly and raising some red flags that I disliked. So finally then I got a chance to sit down with him and catch his attention I asked him what was going on, so he told me he was back on drugs, immediately I broke of the engagement and told him I did not want anything to do with him, I saw how my father beat up my mom under the influence of drugs specifically this one drug that my fiancée was doing, so that was a big no for me even though I belive in second chances I got way to scared from how he had been acting days before, the temperament , the different mistreatments to myself that I was not about to get into a marriage like that. So I said no, moved out of town to a different state and lost track of him completely, years later after I was married my sister game me some letters and pictures of him and this is what I got.

You were the first girl I ever loved.
The first real relationship I ever had.
The first person to break my heart.
The first person I ever missed.
The best girl I ever kissed.
The only person who owns my heart.

I figured it all way to late,
that you are the one,
my only soulmate.

For one more try the things I'd give.
To start my life and really live.

I always though money was important.
I would kill myself making a lot of money
at work. I didn't know I was putting you second.
You should never be second.
Always first. I will never make that mistake again.
I should have listened to you as a lover and friend.

I also have a bad temper. It's hard to control but lately I have done ok. I know it did scare you.
That could be part of the reason why you left. I hit walls, doors, for no reason. It is all of the anger
that I build up. Mainly from work, or my brother, but it has to stop as well. I have changed a lot since
new years. My job got a lot harder after new years. I took on too much and put you aside.
That will never happen again. I want to talk to you and tell you what's wrong every day that something is wrong. I want you to talk to me the same way.
Love Jared
These are the things I feel,
I can not hide or try to conceal,
my heart is open like a book to read,
for only you, the woman I need .

You were right to leave, you were right to not give me another chance, especially how I ruined all of my other chances, if I could take anything I ever did and do it over. I would have changed how much work I worked and spend every second with you. I didn't want you to get tired of me. I was always jealous when you talked to any guy. I never wanted anyone to get the chance with the best girl in the world I should have just trusted you more. When you said why cant I trust you I never could honestly respond. The truth is I trust you but the rest of the world that I don'. I would still trust you with my life. I can't say that about anyone else in the world.

Feel about you. I can't explain why I haven't called you, I am just afraid of what you will say. I don't even know is you have a new boyfriend or not. But for me I will tell you what I told your sister, there isn't a woman out there who is half of the woman you are, so there is nobody else for me. I am the luckiest man alive because I met you. I am kind of glad that you left me, If not I wouldn't have realize how special you are. or how much you really mean to me. If you want to please call me when you read this I have tried and tried but never an answer. Also, think of me when you listen to Enrique Iglesias, Escape, I want you to hear that song.
I wont stop loving you
Jared. p.s. T.Q.M.

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