from my heart
life is all about you yet not
i think that insecurity is kind of funny because people are so in hatred and out of love with themselves that they feel so bad about themselves to the point all they can think about is themselves. i know this isnt the case for all people but i see it in a lot of people and me as well.
id like to say that i have been loving myself a lot better than i used to be. there are some things that i hate about myself that im still working on loving and accepting. i think that one of the reasons why im loving myself more and more is because im realizing my self worth and im surrounding myself with people who push me to be better and support me when i fail and fall down. i think that i love myself more because i have been practicing on being a positive person (not forcefully) but just remembering constantly to be thankful for everything and realizing that everything bad isnt forever and that everything good isnt forever either. i think its because ive been accepting of the good and the bad, because i have been trying to find a balance and not expect too much.
however i remember when i would just hate myself constantly and daily. id wake up to hatred and fall asleep the same way that i woke up. i would be filled with misery and nothing could make me feel good. while i was filled with insecurity i was thinking about my flaws. i thought about the fact that im too ugly to be loved, how im undeserving of eating food, how i dont deserve to be happy, how im not good enough for anybody, how i am easily replacable, how i am just somebody to laugh at and not somebody to laugh with. i just find it interesting because during the times i hated myself the most and felt insecure about just about everything was when i was constantly focused on myself the most.
so i know this may seem rude or bad but i just feel like when somebody is insecure, they are in a sense just thinking that they are the center of the world if that makes sense. i dont know how to explain this exactly but for me, i realized i stopped thinking about myself as much as i used too. i realize that im not that important for people to constantly worry about what i do or act and im not that special for people to think about and judge before they go to sleep. everybody is too busy thinking about themselves.. so i dont worry about myself like that anymore.
anyways to anybody that hates themselves or feels like theyre not good enough: you are good enough but your flaws and insecurities arent important enough for people to think about and hate on before they go to bed at night. also if i can give any advice, id say that it really helps to accentuate the tiny things you love about yourself and work on that.