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2020-05-14 11:53:10 (UTC)

Get off the Pity Pot


Thursday
5/14/20
2:15am

Good grief.
What is up with people.
Ok, I get Covid has things locked down, but no different than scarlet fever, a bad case of the flu, pneumonia, etc......
So things are cancelled. Why not take the time to be THANKFUL for the things you can do, the people who are in your life, etc, instead of being on this pity kick?

This is simple.

Enjoy and treasure the simple things in life. Reinvent yourself. Pick up a damn hobby. Find things you love, photography, gardening, writing, reading, dancing.....be fucking creative.

I’ve been stuck at home with 3 kids since I was FORCED to quit work before Covid hit. How the hell do you think I felt? But guess what?? I found myself. I didn’t get on the pity train and all that mess.
Yes,
It was/am depressed/depressing. But, I found things to do.

I’m sorry. I care. I love the people in my life, but enough is enough. How old do you think it would get if every single day I said in some form or fashion about how I’m lonely, depressed, wanna die, etc? It would get old fast. I will say I’m suicidal on days I’m suicidal, but guess what, I pull the fuck out of it. Get some medications for the depression if the thoughts last longer than a week. ... but I’m guessing they won’t. Why? They feel they don’t need to. This is a game.....let’s see who cares and who doesn’t....and they are ASSuming people don’t care because those people are doing what the other would do. That doesn’t mean one cares more than the other. What the fuck is this? Kindergarten?? How fucking old are we?? For real.

I’m sick of hearing how I’m not being the same type friend. I am me. I am not, never have been, one to call two, three, four times every single day and bug the shit outa people. I will send a text, email, etc. I’ve never been much of a phone talker. Why expect me to change who I am? Why, say, I don’t care, when I don’t do as you do? That’s selfish. I’m really getting pissed off at people.

I have a best friend, I sent 2 cards to, have I ever gotten a thank you? No. Am I going to give them an ultimatum? No. I will just keep doing what I do. That’s who I am. I’m not going to go down the “well I guess you don’t love and care because you can’t be what I want you to be...”.....
Grow the fuck up.
People are who they are. Specially those you’ve known a long ass time. Now, if you go from talking everyday to maybe once a week, yeah, ask what’s going on, then LISTEN and UNDERSTAND. And if you need to, move the fuck on, or fucking deal with it.


For the past 20 years plus, I’ve not been one to initiate conversation. That’s NOT going to change any time over night. I am OK with a phone call a week, hell, Sheldons memaw does more than most of my friends, she’s FAMILY, and holy fucking monkey balls, we have a phone call maybe once a month, when SHE calls me. Her hubby died 5 months ago, she lives in the country, AND on lockdown.....guess what??? She’s working in the garden, doing things! Not on some pity kick. The man she was married to for 50 plus fucking years just died, and she is dealing with it. She doesn’t say people don’t love and care because they aren’t blowing her phone up every day. She appreciates the little things, like a text outa the blue “Hey, I’m thinking of you today, know I love you”.......that’s all it takes....yes, even for me. I’m content. If I get too lonely, I’ll send texts, or join a chat room and listen to the conversations. Something. Jimmy Crickets.

I don’t mean to come across rude, mean, callus, insensitive, or whatever else you want to call it.

Again, I’m me. I’ve got my own shit I’m dealing with. Kids who moved away, lied, and other ones leaving. Ex’s, my disabilities, my own darkness, etc. but I’m not pushing it off on others. And if they were busy, a movie, darts, concert, shopping, etc, and they didn’t call me WHEN I EXPECTED them to, I’m not going to give an ultimatum. Just because there’s 3 days of no answer, but you see them online, must mean they are ALIVE.....but busy or dealing with things and will chat when they can. If I know they have company, I’m NOT going to call while they have the company. I’ll shoot a text to see how things are.

While I’m on this mode I’m on......

Let’s get into the....

“I’m not like the idiots you had in your life prior to me....” statement.

Men are soooooo quick to make that statement.....yet, they will bring up a situation or something that brings their ex’s up. Very rare do you hear a woman remind a man “I’m not like your ex’s....”.....we LISTEN and just make sure we don’t do things that the guys ex did. So explain to me, why men have the need to always mention they aren’t like our ex’s? But a man can have issues from his ex/ex’s and we have to listen and get through it.

Anyho....
I am going to be moving TVs around today, and fixing the sofas and shit a different way. Washed all the dishes already. Also have to run into town for smokes.

So......

Dance in the storm, dance like it’s your last dance. Enjoy yourself.


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