La Flaca

how things change.

It's amazing to think only a year ago I was living in my favorite part of the world Rancho Las Tortugas which is our family farm in Mexico. clear blue skies and on the horizon beautiful Sierra Madre mountains and being a place where pecan trees are almost everywhere during the four seasons it truly is an amazing thing to witness, the changing of the seasons during each blooming, growing turning golden brown colors and then falling for the branches to be filled with snow during the winter. I can go back to my kitchen window every time and have a clear image of what those trees look like, and knowing am looking at my father's dream growing makes it extra special.
The sound of the cranes flying above by the dozens is another peculiar sound during the changes of seasons when they fly south they cross above our ranch, where there once was a cornfield and they would stop to feed themselves now are the pecan trees standing. Our family graveyard is new but it already has my father buried my niece and our favorite dog named Mirka, she was a baby when my dad brought her to our ranch and she stayed alive long after my father's passing in a way it seemed as if he was the one watching over us trough Mirka. all His grandchildren that did not get to meet my dad got to play with Mirka my children included. So I can't imagine being anywhere else but home.
My house or the home that I have built with my family here in town has a different meaning and feeling, when am in las Tortugas I feel free, I feel I can scream to the four winds I don't feel judged by anyone because I am the boss like my father once was, and is funny how I can enjoy every single breath I take when I am there. and I miss it every time I think of this freedom. And in my home I feel like I can not be my crazy self as hard as I try to be because my husband keeps me in check constantly, he doesn't even realize he does this and is my fault I have let him have this power over me, yet we have begun to understand each other a little more in this area of our lives, this right here my diary online is that part of me that hungers for that freedom that I always enjoyed during my teen years no filters what so ever, and I also keep my self in check because I can be a train wreck if I don't use my breaks hard to control my impulses.