Wr1tt3n0ne

Bunches and bunches
2020-05-10 16:39:24 (UTC)

K.I.S.S...

When I first began this journal it was because an old acquaintance had breezed back into my life and complicated everything. By fits and starts, I was vexed, enamored, confused and belittled. All in all, a horrid mess I wish never to recall.

There was an element of it that I enjoyed, being there's bound to be some upside even as you fall off a cliff. That pull of the "I don't know, but maybe..." Those golden moments where what you want is maybe right there but you can't seem to know if it is. The getting to know you bit. It's frustrating but exciting trying to figure out if the other party shares your feeling on the issue. Tantalizing. As a woman in a mature relationship, a sex life without that kind of novelty, it's a rare treat.

Enter a genuinely nice man, Mr. Curved Line, himself and well, things are getting pretty interesting. I like him. Stupid things like the cadence of his voice late at night and how he speaks haltingly when it's important. His charm is really honest, not some weak calculated false modesty, but the real deal. It's positively disarming. There's no complex backstory marred by tragedy, no hopeless baggage forcing the air out of the conversation and the relationship, and even the sense of my place in his life is comfortingly unambiguous. It's at once a simple pleasure to be myself and be at peace.

He's a busy guy and I am pleased when he makes time for me. I think I am beginning to understand the possibilities of polyamory now. Heretofore it's been largely Utopian visions, it's so great to see it function in real time. I still have a complex backstory but now there's space for me to be constructive with it instead of being trapped by it away from others. And I'd not have thought so, but it's hot stuff.

So much of my sexuality is connecting to the more active parts of my aggressive tendencies. I delight in fulfilling the Mistress experience for a couple of select slaves. They come to me because they like the reserved nature, the pomp and circumstance of the interactions, the way I play ice cold is hot. For my part, I find it calm to be setting the scene, running the room and getting obeyed. My creativity can ran amok and the heat can go from thick and palpable to hilarious in a twinkling of an eye. I'm very content.

My daily life sex life is really open, no roles to play, which is a relief not to have to be Mistress every moment, a secure playground with my favorite man. It's sustaining and regularly hot, inventive and comforting. And my all time favorite, consistent. What good is fun if you can only have it that way once?

Mr. Curved Line is the bit of something new. Not fulfilling some hole I don't have in my dance card, but is simply a want of mine. I'm awkward and smooth, flushed and simmering, and utterly, hysterically out of my element. The eroticism is very raw, kind of intellectual, but hopefully when this time of Covid ends, deliciously realized. Until then it's husky whispered wants and snippets of texts that cause my breath to catch. The intimacy of the art and the art-making process makes it so much fun.




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