from my heart
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if i cried on dirt, would i grow a flower or would i kill it
you know its a different kind of personal shit if you cant even write about it in your own diary. i have been crying for approximately one hour now and im so ashamed of myself because i feel so fucking pathetic. something happened today at work and well at the very last moment when i could finally go home , i was crying in the car the whole time. then i came home and i was trying to wash up but everytime i washed my face with water i kept crying and i couldnt stop. i tried to be as secretive as possible but my mom caught me and she was really worries and i just hate myself for making my mom worry. i cant tell anybody about what happened today because it is so embarrassing and im so fucking broken tonight. i cant even talk about my sadness these days without feeling awful and scared that i may seem like an attention seeker. all i can say to wrap tonights well this very sad night entry is that: i wish i loved myself.
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