2020-05-08 20:13:05 (UTC)

Out and About

I got to go outside today. D, dad, and I went grocery shopping and on the outside, everything seemed normal except people had gloves and masks on. It was a surprisingly hot day, as if summer was already here. Things are slowly getting back to normal and there are fewer restrictions.

The past few days haven't been a cheerful time. Each day begins anew but so far each start leads to a downward fall. It's probably seeing how C is so happy without me. I'm glad he's happy, I just wish I stop needing him like how he clearly doesn't need me.

In other news though, I had a great talk with A a few nights ago. We talked about cultural similarities and ended up talking about and exchanging jokes. It was unbelievably fun. It's these conversations that make me think I could be close to him after all. When he pointed out how he felt I was still deciding whether to trust him completely or not my heart broke a little. He's not wrong. It's not so much him though, but I don't trust online and long distance interactions anymore. I'm actually looking forward to meeting him in person, to see his smile and observe his body language. At a certain time I will have two people in my heart, I guess. Neither in love but... I don't know, it's okay to look for company and comfort, isn't it?

Well, whatever.