Subtropical Lady

May 2020 (4)

5/27/2020 Wednesday 1:53 p.m.

My bum tooth is holding steady and the lymph nodes in my neck and groin haven’t bothered me today, but I can feel the one at the side of my boob. Wish I could get the peace of mind of knowing it's nothing serious without the torture! But I'm just not ready to get any serious testing done at this time. I'll make a decision after my tooth is fixed if the lymph nodes don't back off at that point.

Florida or New Mexico, Florida or New Mexico??? It's a tough decision! Yesterday I was so hot all day that I started to think we may be better off forgetting planes and trains and just driving down to New Mexico since I don't seem to be able to tolerate heat as well as I used to. Yet today I'm fine so far. I lowered the temperature in here from 78 to 77.

Tom brought up the idea of picking a place in Florida to ship our stuff to in a shipping container and taking a train to Nebraska which would take 37 hours. Then I could meet Aly and we could see what it was like there. Maybe even rent a place for a short time, and basically sample different places to possibly live in. I just know there's no way I’d be happy in that harsh of a climate. Snow and extreme cold just aren't my thing. Nor would I want to go back to the furnace Arizona was either.

I hate the not knowing! I wish I could know if the climate in Florida would get to either of us in any way. Would we be that uncomfortable every time we were outdoors? Would it mess with our breathing or allergies and anyway? Would storms wake me up a lot? But because of that damn container, we can't just sample too many places, unless we got rid of nearly everything. Actually, though, Florida is the only place I wouldn't mind sampling. I can't imagine having any problems in the New Mexico desert since I survived an even harsher desert than the area we might consider.

I'd love to meet Aly, but the train doesn't appeal to me very much due to being doubly cursed in the sleep department. When you can't keep a schedule and you're the lightest sleeper on earth, the faster you get settled, the better. So I'd rather fly across the country than train it, and it would be cheaper too. The trains have roomettes that have a bed and table, and rooms with bunk beds, tables and a bathroom. I just know I gotta get off the fucking street and out of a flight path! I was just falling asleep last evening when a fucking motorcycle woke me up. And oh, the projects! I'm so sick of hearing people’s shit all the time. Every fucking thing they do, I have to know about it.

I like the fact that Florida is stricter on loud vehicles than New Mexico but then with every other person having a motorcycle in Florida as they do here, that might make up for it.

My meds, age and weight could be why I don't handle heat as well as I used to. Well, I can’t stop my meds, I’m not going to get any younger, and I’m not losing weight either. Or maybe it's just not hot enough often enough to be used to it here, I don't know. I remember it took me years to acclimate to Arizona and whenever the winters would come around, as short as they were, I would be so cold. I was freezing my ass off when we went to Oregon as well. So I still do handle heat better than cold, especially if it's that cold.

The heat may be more comfortable than freezing my ass off, but warmer weather makes it harder for sleeping, working out, and doing things like that.

I miss the beaches, but I don't like the humidity. If we got some land in New Mexico we could get our own pool and that would certainly be better than public pools with the potential for screaming brats in it. Whenever we wanted a vacation we could go to Hawaii or Mexico. It's not like we could afford to live too close to the beach anyway or that we would go to the beach every single day if we did.

If we could find an ideal piece of land with an old piece of shit on it, we might be able to have a brand new place brought in, and then the old house could become a storeroom and a workshop for Tom. It would be better for outdoor walking and bike riding, too.

I'm still open to looking at everything when the time comes to seriously start hunting for a place, but fear of the unknown is definitely something to consider. Being evacuated due to Hurricanes could be a real bitch for me as well depending on where my schedule was at the time. But then I don't think that would happen very often or for long, so I don't know.

Tried the new Haagen-Dazs Spirits ice cream today. The one with rosé and cream. Yep, tastes like rosé.

5/28/2020 Thursday 2:48 p.m.

I called my dentist to schedule the follow-up filling of the crown as well as my other fillings but was told that they want to wait until they get the report from the endodontist. She said it would arrive quickly because it's digital.

New Mexico is definitely out of the question because I didn't realize how high it was in elevation and as I learned up in Oregon, that makes my ear worse. We looked at a topographic map and found that areas in red and orange like Oregon and New Mexico are too high. We've got to stay in the blue and green areas.

Didn't feel hot yesterday at all. It's like that one degree made a huge difference. This is the last day of the heatwave and then we're going to drop quite a bit. They're even saying we might get some rain Saturday which is very unusual for this time of year but probably won't actually happen.

Tom proposed another idea. That would be to get rid of most of our stuff and buy a truck and a small trailer. Then we would drive the main highway that cuts across the country, including cutting through Nebraska, visit Aly, then drive down to Florida. It would actually be a much easier route than if we went through Arizona, New Mexico and Texas to get there (not that we'd dare go through an inch of Arizona). This way we stay on the same road and it would be a much easier drive. If we didn't have to store a container of stuff anywhere, the truck and trailer would give us the freedom to explore more places before making any definite plans. Not saying we're going to do this but it's another possibility to think about.

If we don't fly, I would definitely like this idea better than taking a train. I think this would be easier for my sleep issues. When we moved to Oregon, he had no place to go when I was sleeping so his movements would often wake me up. But if we were sleeping at different times, he could hang out in the truck more. Sleeping at the same time may be a bit of an issue with his movements and snoring, but this way we would be able to test the waters when it came to both inland and coastal areas easier. Maybe we could even find a bare piece of land somewhere that will allow us to remain in the trailer until we get a house hauled in. All I know is I’m sick of listening to people’s shit and having a daily symphony of loud traffic, power tools, landscaping, planes and projects.

He could probably tolerate Florida because he did spend six weeks of basic training in San Antonio where it’s also humid and didn't have any problems. I'm not really expecting any myself, to be honest, but you never do know. I didn't know Simone would trigger my asthma, after all. If Florida doesn't work out, there are dry places in Texas at lower elevations.

Haven't done much public writing lately. It just doesn't excite me much anymore to share with just anyone and everyone.

The money arrived yesterday and I’m going to treat myself to that antifungal base coat and polish and then we’re still gonna save, save and save all we can. Never know how long the money will last. They’re out of berry-colored nail polish so I'm getting light turquoise.

Anyway, working hard today! Lots of cleaning that I’ve neglected and doing some laundry. Cooking some chicken thighs with broccoli too.

5/29/2020 Friday 4:09 p.m.

Here we go again with black people rioting. If it really is true that a pig suffocated a suspect to death, that's absolutely horrible, unacceptable, and the pig should be killed. But they're just as appalling and disgusting with the way they’re taking their anger out on so many innocent people. Why not take it up with the police department that they've got the problem with and leave others out of it? Why do they have to burn, loot, and harm innocent people and businesses while they're at it? How many times must the LA Riot scene repeat itself? I'll never understand why they feel they have to take their frustrations out on everybody and anybody they can. This is only going to make them look bad. If you're pissed at the bank teller, you don't take it out on the butcher at the grocery store. If they don't want labels stuck on them, then why do they do so many things to earn them? You can't pull this shit and then turn around and complain about how unfair the world is to you. No way I'm going to deny the fact in the name of political correctness that I would never feel safe living in a black neighborhood. Some things and some people really never do change. It's okay to get angry with those that screw you or someone else over. That's only normal. But there is NO excuse for taking it out on others. Would all blacks do this? Absolutely not. But I have nothing but contempt for them as a whole. They’re no better than the pigs who, incidentally, kill just as many non-blacks. It's just that those aren't the cases the media wants to focus on.

I amazingly slept through trash pickup which has been occurring earlier and not being such a multi-hour production

Coming up on 6 million COVID cases but not quite half a million deaths. Tom still feels confident there will be a vaccine next year. And I still feel fairly confident that we won't catch it. I'm more curious about what's going on with my lymph nodes, particularly the one at the side of my breast that's sore. If it doesn't back off when my tooth is fixed, I'll decide whether or not to get into Doc A sooner.

The antifungal nail polish will be here on the 5th and on the 3rd comes the portable AC. So our home’s AC has to be sure not to let us down for one more week! It won't have voice command, but it will have a remote.

Decided not to wait until we got settled which will be well over a year from now to get a new set of bras. I just got a six-pack of Fruit of the Loom sports bras. I went a little larger than I need. Usually, 40-42 is enough but I ordered them in 44 so that while I wouldn't get ideal support for things like jogging, I wouldn't feel like I had anything too snug wrapped around me with swollen lymph nodes. The colors will be light blue, light gray and white. I prefer dark panties, but I like lighter bras that won't show through lighter shirts and blouses.

Took the bikes out but only for five minutes because it was a little too warm for doing anything physical, and even a touch humid because it was cloudy.

The more we discuss getting a truck and trailer so we can bypass hotels and shipping containers, the more I like the idea. Still, nothing is etched in stone. But having to deal with him while I'm trying to sleep is enough, as I tease him about, as true as it is with me being such a light sleeper. I don't need pesky maids and people slamming doors in hotels to add to it even if that would be roomier than a trailer. This time we would be doing it with a lot more money instead of a few grand or less and he wouldn't have to scramble to get a job right away. Plus, we’d have incoming money.

I'm excited the more I think about it. I just hope nothing shits on our plans and prevents us from getting out of here! No health issues or anything.

Once we got to Florida, we would get a rental in another adult park so that we could compare it to this one and see if it was similar or not. We also need to test drive the climate, so to speak, and make sure I can handle the extreme humidity and that the storms won't wake me up all the time. If we like the climate but not the park, we’ll check out land somewhere. If the whole state is a bust, then we might head for Texas. They should have some dry areas that aren't too high in elevation. We need to stick with those blues and greens.

We wouldn’t sell the truck and trailer and get a new vehicle until we were certain of where we want to live. We’d likely take I-80 and then slowly descend downward and outward towards the Carolinas and then shoot down into Florida from there. This way we could stop and meet Aly and I could bring her the doll and the pigs. This is only if we really did end up moving this way.

Tom and I were discussing whether or not we wanted to do NaNo in July. He's just not really a writer and I'm pretty much out of steam. I just don't get many ideas I'm excited to actually put into print these days. But we may still do it so I can add to Roomies, my ongoing story written in journal format, and he can edit his story.

5/31/2020 Sunday 12:21 a.m.

Congratulations, black people. You've made some of us look down on you even more. Keep on hurting innocent people while you are (understandably) angry at those who screw you over. You know, because AutoZone and Target and other people and businesses have everything to do with some pig possibly smothering someone to death. You’re just as bad as the pigs and so are those of other ethnicities helping you spearhead your violent little hissy fits. You live in a country where you now have more rights than whites and 95% of the country favors or at least supports you, so the next time you whine about the few left with ill feelings toward you, maybe you’ll finally wake up and realize why.

Meanwhile, go on. Keep living up to those labels at innocent people’s expense. Deepen the animosity a few of us have toward you, then bitch about racism and swear you don't give a shit what others think all in the same breath. Keep playing the race card unfairly when you know damn well that in most of the country you’ll automatically be believed, and taking your frustrations out on innocent people when you actually do get screwed over. Keep making your own haters based on not where you're from or your damn skin color but your appalling behavior.

Hate to say it but if it wasn’t for my buddy’s BF who I’m sure would never stoop so low, I’d wonder if going back to the days of segregation may not be such a bad idea. Part of me wishes whites would finally get fed up with their shit and return the violence but I know that adding violence to violence isn't the answer. Plus, most whites stand by them anyway.

The media needs to start giving as much attention to whites that are brutalized and screwed over by the law as they do others. Maybe it will then sink in that it's about the abuse of power and not aimed at any particular group. Sure there are a few that don't care for blacks when they see how much crime they’re involved in, but I think that's a very small number. I think most cops just like to abuse people much like an abusive lover. Makes them feel powerful and in control.

Well, just like I'm not ashamed to say which foods, music or colors I don't like, I'm not afraid to admit what people I don't like just because most people don't want to hear it. No one's totally indiscriminate and I'm not about to pretend I'm any different.

What's with the People You May Know on Facebook that I don't have any mutual friends with? How do they end up being recommended to me?

Been having some fatigue early in my day and I'm not sure why. Figured out why my weight is down a little, though. I no longer snack on nuts between meals. So while I'm not at the 800 calories or so it would take to lose weight, it deducts enough calories to keep me at the lowest my body feels comfortable weighing these days. A little fat won't kill me and that's another thing... I still don't get why so many people are against that particular F-word. Referring to myself as fat isn't being “mean,” it's being honest. I just don't see the point in dressing things up in fancy labels. Wouldn't that be a form of denial? I can see “overweight” or “obese,” but “curvy?” IDK, it just seems like that’s really avoiding what those “curves” really are…fat rolls. Nonetheless, the reality is that I'm okay with both the word and myself. I'm not mean to myself. I'm not ashamed of myself. I'm not disgusted with my body. And I'm neither proud nor unproud. I have a typical middle-aged body and that's fine.

Anyway, I may have no desire to diet but I think Walmart wants to clog my arteries, LOL. Got up around 1 p.m. and Tom had already been up for 6-7 hours and put the groceries away when they were delivered. I opened the fridge to get creamer for my coffee and that's when I noticed the carton of 18 eggs. I didn't order those, I told him, and he said he thought it was weird that I would get so many. Exactly. I don't have any kind of a death wish. He checked the order and it turns out that it's just another freebie from them. They didn't charge us for them.

Today marks 8 weeks of taking my medication consistently and without cutting pills.

Tom and I were talking about more ideas for moving and it may actually be cheaper to buy a cheap dump than to rent depending on the space rent and all that. Figured we'd start off in a park so I could compare it to this one and see how similar or different it may be. This would just be for climate testing. Then we would sell it and get a different place in either a park or rural setting if we didn't leave the state altogether.

There are many areas with tons and tons of parks, hardly any crime, and over 90% white. I still say there's a noise curse on me and there has been for decades and we're going to happen to end up next to the wrong people or close enough to them. For the most part, I've learned that it isn't the residents themselves that are annoying but their visitors and workers. The only thing I would worry about with an older park with older homes would be even more sawing and hammering. Here, it's mostly because people can afford to do so many projects.

I just wish Aly could live near us! Her parents aren’t doing well now but if they get well enough to move to Florida like she said they want to, it certainly wouldn't hurt my feelings if she followed. :-) But I know it also depends on her job, Cam, and whatever else on top of whether or not she would actually want to live there.

We also talked about possible trips we may take. We still want to go on a helicopter ride and would love to snorkel again. I wouldn't mind trying scuba diving. Don't know if I would be brave enough for parasailing or anything like that. Maybe the kind where you're attached to a boat and above water. Maybe we could take a small plane and go island hopping down around the Caribbean or maybe even further south. Some excursions may be tough because of our weight. I'm fat and he's really fat so...

I don't know that we could afford to sweep Europe but it would be cool to fly to Wales and see Mitch, then Amsterdam to see Adonis, shoot over to Germany to see Christiane who would no doubt tell Nane (LMAO!), drop down to Austria to see Irene, then maybe sweep on through Italy, Portugal and Spain before flying back. Greece would be nice to visit, too. There are some beautiful areas there. No way I would go to Africa or the Middle East. If I won a safari or something that would be different.

I would still like to cruise on a small ship. Never again will we cruise on a ship with thousands of people!

I decided to delete my public book on PB. I just can't get into public blogging anymore. Maybe once we get settled somewhere. I know that anyone could find our future address if they really want to but the less information that's easily accessible by people that may sell or rent us a place or give him a job, the better it may be.

Here comes another helicopter. The commercial planes have been better but the helicopters still get annoying at times. Wouldn't be surprised if I heard small planes circling around after midnight but we'll see. Lately, the most annoying thing is traffic with things opening up again.

I occasionally miss writing in public and the fun of what feedback and comments I make get but I get tired of filtering this and that. Also, StatCounter is having issues for the millionth time and most visitors don't show up anyway. So I'm definitely taking a break for a while. I wasn't sharing much on a regular basis as it was, and I rarely use my public MD account.

Since Tom loves technology and gadgets, we have both arm and wrist blood pressure cuffs. To get me used to the blood pressure cuff they're going to put on my arm during the root canal, we had me use the arm cuff yesterday with my finger on the stop button. It gets pretty damn tight, but I managed to get through it without panicking or hitting the stop button.

My tooth is the best it's been since it got infected because the root is no doubt dead now. It's not even throbbing at the end of the day like it used to. No longer having pain in the lymph nodes in the side of my boob either and I haven't felt the one in my groin. But I am noticing my neck again.

I haven't been remembering much in the way of dreams lately. Something about trying to decide if I wanted to purchase this small mirror that had a pretty decorative frame in mint green, another favorite color of mine along with pink and lavender. I was living somewhere with multiple stories since I was thinking about putting it in a spot where I would see at least my legs as I was coming down the stairs. The house I had in mind and pictured in my dream looked similar to my first childhood home. I was thinking about putting the mirror in the small space between the window and the corner of the room by where dad's chair was.

11 p.m.

Decided it wouldn't hurt to compromise with myself and share some things publicly on PB. Then, after people have a little time to see it, I can FO it.

Next thing I know I’m being asked to either take down or make private my last post, and no, I'm not going to do it simply because some people don't want to hear it and don't agree with it. I DO NOT support violence as a means of obtaining justice. Never have, never will, and I don't care what color you are either.

Meanwhile, I'm not going to sit here and babysit some people's fragile feelings and stifle my freedom of expression because some may not take it well or get the wrong idea. No one can agree on everything 100% of the time. Also, no one's obligated to read my stuff either. You don't like it... move on.

If sharing my opinion on being anti-violence is “racist” and “threatening,” (God only knows how they came up with that last one) then so be it. I'm not going to share only what I think most people will agree with and want to read. I'm there to express myself. Not to seek approval. Besides, if one is that sensitive, then why are they reading people's journals in the first place?

Using tracemyip again instead of StatCounter. Can't hide that I'm tracking but at least I don't have the kinds of login issues I had with StatCounter.

We went to Rite Aid to get some treats and I got some merlot. Rather than drink it every day and risk becoming addicted, I drink it every other week. This keeps it more special this way too.

Lentil chips are really good. I'm glad they're back.

We went for a bike ride and it was a touch windy and humid with the cloud coverage out there. Sometimes it was sunny. My heart was pounding at 124 when we got back. Coming up the hill against the wind isn’t easy and my legs felt kind of weak and rubbery for a little while afterward.

Made mashed potatoes in the slow cooker for the first time and they came out great. I used cream along with milk.

So excited about our upcoming move even if it's still a whole year away. Still no idea how we're going to move either. Going by ground would be harder on me but definitely safer so we can avoid “goesh.” Yeah, me and my silly little nicknames for everything. When we would log on to the internet at the extended-stay hotel we were in when we first came down from Oregon, it would say “connected to goesh.” The “G” was for gateway and of course the “esh” was for extended-stay hotel but I'm not sure what the “O” was for. Online?

Anyway, we were stuck there from August of 2007 until the following April as it pretty much sucked every last dime out of us. If I hadn’t won that 9k, we'd never have gotten out of there!

Nothing exciting in the way of dreams other than me scrubbing an old clawfoot tub that was stained and filthy.