Ash Greyson

The Troubles Of A Teenage Loner
2020-04-08 00:00:00 (UTC)

Basically my live's story

April 8th, 2020
Dear Reader,
You have quite a nerve trying to find out more about me since I was never really paid any attention to. I used to consider people my friends but now your just mutual colleagues that I share my everyday activities with, you are no longer needed in my life since I am no longer needed in yours. You see I have created the greatest universe that has ever come to exist, in my mind, where you are no longer needed and where I am both the center of this world, and at the same time I have nothing to do with it. Where I am not part of this world, but I am slowly creating it, this world is my everything and the best part is that it can't exactly hurt me it can only help me cope with the pain of the “Real World” and that’s what makes it so incredibly important in my life. Without it, I have no other way to cope with the “Real World” and so my life would be much more miserable than it already has been in the few years that I have been born.

When I was a child, I was very confident and self-assured but then it all changed, you see as I child I was afraid of people leaving me behind and my friends didn’t really help with this fear of mine, actually I think they made it worse. And as I grew up this fear grew larger and larger and I became more afraid of messing up or saying the wrong thing and that itself caused me to stop being so open and free like I once was and that also caused my friends to leave. I had my very own “Great Depression” in 7th grade when my friend left me and stopped talking to me, she was my best friend and only friend. When that happened, I sort of went into a dark place where I thought that I had depression and I felt very numb and my only escape from all those dark thoughts back then was to read fantasy and romance novels that kept my mind busy from all the stress and pain that I was going through.

At the time I was trying to get help but since I didn’t know how to explain why I was in pain, people just dismissed my cries for help and that also made me lose hope for when I went to 8th grade. When I entered 8th grade, I was alone, and I had no more hope for myself, so I used my mind to create fantasies to help cope with stress, anxiety, anxiousness, doubt, and pain, and in my experience its very effective. Now I'm still in 8th grade but in the 3rd courter, we only have 4 courters in a year and I'm almost done, right now I'm in quarantine and I have school online now and to be honest with you I don’t feel motivated at all to do my work especially when I am at home with a lot of distractions. That is all I have to say for now thank you for reading, goodbye and stay awesome.

-Love, Ash Greyson




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