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Ramblings & RL Stories
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2020-04-30 20:19:26 (UTC)

2:16 brain fog


2:16pm
Got the king 4 in memory foam topper cut and on the full spare bed. Clean sheets on it, comforter is in the dryer.

Made the mistake of washing my vintage cow collection, one of them fell apart. I hope I can fix it.

The grandkids kids tore my Dallas Cowboys pillow, which I was not aware of till I went to wash it.

Did another vacuum to the hallway, spare bedroom and living room.

I’m so exhausted today, (15)
depression hitting hard. (12)
Physical pain hitting hard (15)

(Deep sigh)

Been freezing all day, then extremely hot, like my face is on fire, then get the shakes, and my headache isn’t going away.

I wanted to run into town, but there’s no way possible I’m going to risk it. I’m just too run down.

I’m assuming my kids are all together. They are coming by tomorrow. Just have to finish dishes before they get here. And possibly have a pot roast or something. I’d like to feed BabyFace, but the other two, well, one I could care less for, and the other, well, she’s my kid, I love her, but I’m still upset with her. I don’t want them here for Mother’s Day. I want a nice, enjoyable day. I hope it will be warm. Super warm. I’d like to go fishing, grill out, and relax. If I can’t go fishing, then grill out, lay in bed, watch movies, play dominoes, and maybe some card games. Will see what Indio has planned.

Well, Sheldon got a message that BabyFace, Barbie and Sponge is all squared away together.

I’m eating my late lunch which will also be my dinner. I’ve put on weight I don’t want. I was losing weight up at Dew Drops place. I’m surprised he has given up, doesn’t leave me messages anymore. After telling me what I did wrong, I’m no different than all the other women out there, there’s no way of mending things, then 8 hours later saying I need you back, and I didn’t jump, I think he got the clue, I’m not going to be tolerating anymore abuse and his life is too messed up for me. It was the right call. A hard one, but the right one. Time will heal my heart. I will always love him. I will always miss him. There will be things that will pop up over time, and will remind me of things, and it will hurt. I know this. It’s ok tho. I did what was right for right this moment. I was going down a dark path, drinking, SH, and more. It wasn’t good. Doesn’t mean I don’t love him, I just love myself more. That’s something I needed to do for a long time. I still have a ton of work to do. But with positive people and situations in my life, I will continue to get better. That’s my goal.

I have a nice entry stand coming as well as my gel memory topper. Don’t have a coat rack, so this will be nice to have. Once the porch is cleaned will place it there, or leave it by the door on the inside. Not sure yet.

But, I’m off to grab a nap. Just exhausted and now I’ve got brain fog going on


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