༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻

Ramblings, Stories, Fantasies
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2020-04-30 13:46:55 (UTC)

Diagnosis 1

I hate Fybromialgia.

There are a lot of worse things that you can get in this world but for me that is the worst thing that I have right now.
You can't cure it.

It's like a creeping cancer that you have no clue it's there till you are so drowned in medication you don't know what day it is.

You can be fine and then all the sudden you tell your family it's going to rain and they ask you how you know.

You just tell them you looked at the weather but in reality you can feel it in your entire body.

It starts as just a feeling of growing.

Then you start to vomit randomly with no explanation.
Your abdomen starts to feel like it's trying to stretch off of your body.

Then it all starts to come slowly:
Your muscles, your neck, the pain can be chronic sharp or severe.

You start to feel fatigued randomly.
Your anxiety and nervousness increases to an incredible level.

Random spasm that can feel like ants crawling on you or can make you kick without meaning to.

You start to forget things that you had no problem remembering before....and this happens a ton with me.

Constantly cold which only makes it worse.
You become sensitive to pain outside of your body.
Inability to sleep.

Depression, headaches, irritability without reason, stiff muscles, and sensitivity to cold.
That is just the scripted version of what Fybromialgia is.

Trying to get diagnosed with Fybromialgia is so hard because it's a ghost pain it's like telling a soldier that their pain isn't there because their leg isn't there anymore.

Women get told all the time that it isn't as bad as what we are saying that it is. But I live with it daily.

You can't take a test and be like BAM you have Fybro. It's not that easy.

It took me 6 years to be diagnosed with Fybro... All 6 years thinking I was crazy and imaging it.....then they figured it out and reminded me, I’m not crazy!

It's this invisible creature that attacks your nerves little by little. It can go dormant for awhile but when you least expect it, it comes back.

God forbid if you try to do anything that involves any kind of strength because the next day you will probably be in the emergency room begging for help....or laid up in bed for 2 days just trying to recover.

Nobody but us understand it...
We all know that it is there... We all know what it feels like...

Everyone else gets tired of hearing it and just tells you to continue to work till you drop from the pain and then they expect you back the next day. No one wants to give us a job that we can do... But I get it, how can you have an employee who may have to call in a week in a row because they can't get out of bed. Or get a call saying they are in the hospital for the 5th time this month.

We have no choice but to suffer and just keep moving from place to place.

One day I hope that we will get there some way or another.

One day we will win this fight.

Fybromialgia, the ghost no one wants to talk about...


That’s just one, of many things I battle. I’ll post the others another time.


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