wet blanket
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2020-04-15 03:31:01 (UTC)

The last two days were really ..

The last two days were really good. I feel a bit lighter. We played a board game, played some tennis and watched some Netflix. It was nice. I feel like that's what we usually do but I felt a bit more at ease this time, for the first time in a while. I felt I had a bit more faith in our relationship despite how I've been feeling lately. It's almost our one year anniversary. I'm going to paint him a star wars picture and attempt to make a pretty cake.
I slept really well last night. First time in a long time. It took me a while to get to sleep but once I did I didn't move once, and no nightmares? I have had nightmares and terrors for the last like year and i've had a like a two week nightmare free run. It's nice not to wake up crying or screaming or shaking for once.

I'm meant to be going back to my old job since I'm eligible for the Job Keeper (Australia) payment there. I'm trying to keep a level head and a clear mind about it. It will be worth it for the money but... I really did despise that job. But i'm fucking broke so it's really my only option aha. Plus i'm getting really bad fomo missing out on animal crossing on the switch and that's my only motivation to get money right now. It's sad but it's true.
Maybe i'll cook dinner tonight. Depends if i get into this painting or throw it at a wall.

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