เผบโก๐๐ผ. ๐๐ฒ๐ท๐ด๐โกเผป
โก ๐ ๐๐ถ๐ ๐ฏ๐ถ๐๐ โก ๐น๐ถ๐๐๐ถ๐๐ โก ๐ฎ๐๐๐๐พ๐๐ โก ๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐ โก
Good Friday
Morning
Saturday 4/11/20
709am
Been up 2 1/2 hours
Couldn’t sleep.
Mind is full.
I wanted to SH last night (10 outa 10)
But I didn’t.
The urge was strong.
I’ve been in a depressed state since yesterday afternoon. (10 outa 10)
I said something wrong, and/or it was taken wrong, I’m so confused, I can’t tell which.
I just know, to watch what I say. I don’t like upsetting people, hurting people. When that happens, I do, I blame myself. I can’t help I’m a little more callous than most. That’s from all the heavy walls I have built around my heart.
I personally, don’t see why people who say they love and care for me do. Is it all just a ploy? A game? I don’t understand. It’s sad when you can’t find positivity in yourself, but others claim they do, but your own family have nothing good to say about you, so how can outsiders see it?
I didn’t do much yesterday, other than laundry.
I’ve not been feeling the greatest.
That’s just my update for today, will be working on Chapter Four the next day or so.
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