༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻
Ramblings, Stories, Fantasies
Well, sadly, slept the past 3 1/2 hours.
I can’t get over how tired I am. (9 outa 10)
I have the shakes as well (4 outa 10)
Woke up to a text, Limp has lymphoma. I asked what stage, he has no clue.
I said, I would say a prayer he is fine, there’s a 50% success cure rate.
I did, say a prayer. Probably not as heart felt as I should have.....but I did say a prayer that he will be ok.
Took a lot to do that.
When he cheated on me, he told me, as his words still run in my head, plus I have his exact words written as he said it in my paper journal.....(grabs my paper journal.....)
“You have changed. You are not the same woman I met 4 years ago. You can’t go hiking and other things you used to do, that I enjoy doing, of course I’m going to look elsewhere.”
I responded, and I quote:
“How can you use my health issues against me? My health is not going to continue to be the same as I get older. I did not ask for the health issues I have. I’m trying hard to find medications to help me. You using my health against me is not right nor fair, and one day, Karma is going to bite you in the ass, you are going to have a health issue to where you can’t do what you love, and you’re going to be all alone to remember what you said to me and how you treated me.”
And, sadly, I believe, that Karma is here. I’m not happy, nor upset at the news. I am indifferent. I really have no feelings on it, ok, better wording.....I have dead emotions on it.
I got nothing accomplished today, nothing but sleep. I guess I needed it. So I’m not upset with myself at all.
I did fill my 84 ounce bottle with 80 ounces of core hydration water and 3 ounces of ice, and 1 ounce of Snapple apple. Will try to have that gone by in the morning, and see if my exhaustion gets better.
I do battle Idiopathic Hypersomnia, a form of narcolepsy, so that could be what’s going on, from all the stress I was under Thursday of last week till Wednesday of this week. I could just be drained from the stress.
I also have some pain (6 outa 10) due to fibromyalgia, and the weather pressure is effecting that I’m sure.
Still nothing from DD2, so, I can assume, I didn’t matter, and my gut was correct to send my message and put the ball in his court. I will still pray, he finds the peace he is looking for. I pray he realizes one day, what he lost.
I’m going to post, and chat with people checking in on me, one, Indigo, has messaged me worried because they haven’t heard from me since 10:00am and I never looked at the videos nor messages.
So, till later.......