Linda - Dominant Partner
It is quite clear than Linda was the dominant partner in her previous relationship. That is probably why it lasted so long because there were no frictions in this area. She is clearly used to identifying flaws and cracks in the relationship (and in the partner) and guiding and navigating the relationship and making the key decisions. She is not used to being challenged or pushed back when she tries to take control. She likes clarity and she drives this and demands this. If there are any frictions or stumbling block she needs me to tell her how I will ensure this doesn’t happen again. She needs me to accept and agree to her analysis of what the issue is and how I plan to take it forward. The last thing she wants to hear then is any challenge or I counter her analysis with mine and show my alternate opinion of the issue.
In an ironic way once she gets her clarity she steps down and wants me to drive and take control. She will take a back seat and monitor and ready to react once we hit a wall and she expects me to find a way to navigate the wall. If this doesn’t happen she reacts negatively and then the wall becomes a mountain and at this stage she will take control.
That’s the big picture but there are also smaller images. That is everyday issues. When she voices her opinion she expects you to heed to it and that’s it. Nothing more. If you have an alternative opinion this is not the time to say it. You have to pick your moment later and slip it in coated with a lot of tenderness, that’s how to get your message across to her. When she takes the governess role let her be. Step down and heed. Bid your time and at the right moment which is when she has resolved the situation and stepped off her governess ladder - slip it in.