Pleasantly Disturbed

Broken Glass Park
2020-04-01 22:44:53 (UTC)

I Meant To Bitch, But...

I was going to make a list of everything wrong in my life, just to bitch one last time, once and for all. I know, yeah right! I also thought about making a list of everything right in my life. There is certain stuff I'm greatful for, that I can privately acknowledge and don't want to write about, simply because I may hate the list later, if I lose those things. I may even hate that I spent time making the list, at all, even if it is very little time.

Anyways, I have all these problems that never seem to have solutions. So, should I just ignore them? I don't know what else to do. It's not good to dwell in the negative. There's very little positive to focus on, so little that I have to hyper-focus on it.

I have a weird obsession right now, but it helps me keep going in life. I have no life (neither does anyone else right now... would it be innapropriate to write 'lol,' to that???). A manager at my work wears a blue shirt, similar to Filthy Frank's. I saw lemons and thought of that character (don't know his name... lol.). There's a clock in the crew room, just chilling on the table. I hold it up a few times a day and say, "It's time to stop!" God, help me...
I guess none of this is really that bad, though. It's just a pre-occupation of my mind. And while wild and weird, is a great distraction from what's going on in the world.

I'm not trying to "compete" with anyone. There definitely are people that have it worse than me, but I've truly only met one so far. I mean, that I know of. I'm just sick and tired of being alone and that could trump my list of complaints, anyways.

My husband is dead. That trumps all.

So, what's good? My mind, my imagination... the creations of other people's minds that are worlds I can enjoy... in this very strange time of my life, the world of Filthy Frank.

At one time, it was Star Trek. I very much miss that show. I haven't seen it in so long. And I am talking about the original. I love Voyager too, though.

That is very different from Filthy Frank, but the video for "Sanctuary" by Joji is very Star Trekkie. He actually said he wanted some "cheesy space shit" for the video, when he heard the song.

I know that life sucks for everyone right now. I'll just continue focusing on any little thing that brings me any little bit of joy. That's all I can do.

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