༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻

Ramblings & RL Stories
Ad 2:
2020-04-01 15:32:05 (UTC)

My ex is a donkey

Well what an ass.

My ex, is in a hospital in Madison. Possible Covid-19 positive.
He also stated “I have lung cancer”
He also said “I have black mold in my lungs”

Ok, he’s not making sense with his messages, as usual, he can’t tell the truth still to this day.

Either way, I remember the comments “I cheated because you are not the same woman I met, your health has gone downhill and you can’t do the things I want to do”

I said, Karma will come back and bite you in the ass one day. One day you will lose your health and be all alone because you did that to me.

Maybe Karma came early for him. Not saying I’m happy, not saying I’m sad. I’m indifferent. I’m really detached from it, just nervous he may have put me and my family at risk.

On a different note:

I’m tired today. Drained from everything I did yesterday. I’m doing laundry this morning. Wishing my daughter was at work. The place is a mess. She does not clean up, nor does she make her kids clean up. I don’t know how much more I can take on this lack of picking up after yourselves.

Talked with babyface. She is all over the place this morning.
I’m not sure how to help her, so basically have not said much. It was a short conversation. I was hacking up a lung and lost my voice during the conversation.

I’m fine. Just a smoker. It’s a morning thing I go through.

As for other things on my mind, I’m ready to shut a door 🚪 to a path I no longer feel welcomed on. I’m not going to stick around and keep waiting for people to realize I’m worth the effort to keep in their lives. I called yesterday, no text, no call, no nothing. I’m tired of the head games. After I called I got the “I’ll call you back in a few” and nothing. I get people get busy, but my gut tells me it’s a game. I’m too old for the games.

DD1 said he doesn’t want to read my journal because it would cause him to look at me differently. Made sense to a degree, because I had someone else that way. Things were good till I became honest with how life is and how my thinking process gets sometimes.

I don’t understand the, let’s go for a coffee, or dinner, and date all of a sudden. I don’t work that way. I tried that once in my life, and ended up a disaster. However, being friends for 3 years prior to dating, didn’t work either.

I’m not looking for a date relationship. But looking for the puzzle 🧩 pieces to fill some spots and hopefully mend me in ways so I can bloom and blossom. I may not ever find that one soulmate who pieces me together so well that I shine like the most beautiful diamond 💎.

As for today, instead of a to do list, I’m going to change it up, and post a To Feel List.

1. Accomplished no matter what task I complete
2. Blessed I am alive
3. Happy I have my family
4. Grateful for the necessities we have
5. Determined to take a minute to list a positive about myself

It’s 10:30, so am going to switch laundry to the dryer. And work on something different today.