Linda and I think have reached a crossroad in our relationship. I penned down a few points.
(1) Negative Energy
Let’s ignore the cause of the energy as this will be addressed on other points. Negative energy is like a dark cloud over a relationship and sucks and saps my energy. My natural instinct is to avoid that energy and space so that I don’t get consumed by that low mood. I try to make small talk but the body language and response just makes it worse for me and I move further away. Your view is that I should be capable of coming to sit down with you and talk about it even though I am getting all these negativity. That will be probably normal for me to do if I see some positive action/statement/vibe etc but beyond that I just don’t find it natural to do. It is a TO Do for me, to take away and try and overcome my natural reaction to negative energy and try and talk about the root cause.
I want a happy relationship, full of laughter, banter, friendship, growth, support etc that’s what motivates me and makes me want to take the relationship to the next level. All the negative energy is just a drag and distraction that can lead to worse things. We should work together to eliminate it:
(2) sleeping - in Union
I get what you say about sleeping in union and I do try to do it but you have to cut some slack here. There are days when external forces may not make it happen. More importantly I also have feelings and may be feeling upset as well. Many nights you may not have noticed even though things were not exactly 100% I will still attempt to hold you and there are occasions that you even push me away. This o will always try and do if I don’t do for whatever reason when I go to bed - in the middle of the night I will do. Tbh it is linked to (1) above and if I am honest I like this constraint as it doesn’t allow things to fester for too long all I am just asking for here is some slack sometimes.
(3) crossing the line - leaving partner’s home
The first thing I will say about this is that you have to demonstrate that what you are demanding from your partner as sacrosanct you can’t be doing it with impunity. The occasion when I left your house I didn’t wake up and decide to leave on my own accord. The root cause is still your Veronica. If it was my house you would have left and I will wake up at you would have been gone. It is because of Veronica that you woke me up to move to another room. One clear thing I will say about that is that it is demeaning for me. That’s why I said to you “you might as well tell me to go” and you said “I should go” whichever way it was said the point is that the root cause of that incident was still your Veronica. It is then very unfair to then say i crosses the line by leaving your house. Of course we can always go further and link it to (1) or (2) above but those have been addressed. Let me be clear about this, I don’t like veronica, I think it is grossly wrong but I know it is something you natural gyrate to that is why I accept it as work in progress we will both work to overcome not that it is fine for me.
(4) Foul Language and swear words
I raised this when I first met you and I still shiver whenever you use language like “fuck you”, “you are a fucking ass hole” when we are discussing. In my relationship with iyore all our arguments always morphed into me reacting badly to her careless use of abusive words and it ended ruining our relationship. I had to consciously make an effort to ignore this kind of talk because I don’t want to go down the same route and I also think or I have convinced myself to think that you actually don’t mean it most of the time as it is just a habit. That doesn’t make it right and it is simply wrong to be addressing your partner using those kind of phrases when talking.