I've had some time to think about what's going on. Initially, I was devastated and that was barely 48 hours ago and now I realize a few things. I realize that we fought because I was insecure and feeling neglected. You asked me how I felt regarding you and all I did was answer truthfully. I had been trying so hard to make you happy and to improve myself. However, you were not doing the same often I felt unappreciated and like you were not willing to put effort into anything, like listening to me and taking time to truly understand where I was coming from. You were always ready to make me understand ad ask me to change but were unwilling to accept my criticism and grow. You say we have different ideas of what a friendship should be and I'd love to hear your side because as I see it now my expectations are that we are willing to put in the effort, listen, grow and work together. You left me without any explanation and after I had sacrificed so much be what you wanted me to be and you made it about yourself, you didn't take any time to consider how I would be affected. I am always open and it is clear to me that as much as you say you are, you weren't otherwise we wouldn't be in this position. You always expect me to react perfectly and to understand ad accept everything you say and I really did try but you weren't even willing to give me insight into your headspace and warn me, you didn't try to understand where I was coming from and you didn't provide the minimum love and support that anyone in a close relationship should expect. You made me feel so worthless and like I had to change myself and put in effort just to keep you around and instead of being open I felt like if you weren't gonna share then I couldn't either and that really affected me. You ignore my anxieties and write it off as something I have to deal with because you don't know-how and at the end of the day the negativity I was feeling and reflecting on to you came from your toxic and borderline manipulative behaviors.
Signs of an unhealthy relationship:
1. You fight... A lot (yelling matches)
We did and you always blamed me but never put in work to prevent them or help fix the root of my issues which were what led to fighting. You completely dismiss what I say and answer as it is convenient and applies to you.
2. You hide things (lying, dishonesty)
You claim not to but clearly you don't share how you're truly feeling
3. This way or the highway (no compromise and discussions)
I did that once.
4. You feel guilty
I feel terrible all the time that I can't be good enough.
5. It's one-sided
I put in the effort to grow and understand your side and to make sure you feel loved and appreciated and I don't get the same back.
6. They put you down (and don't support you and your dreams)
I support you in full and you are relatively neutral.
7. They refuse to Do things that matter to You (no respect)
I ask for one face to face conversation and after all my sacrifices for you and what you need you make it about yourself as if I will not be impacted and don't eve consider making this sacrifice or even compromising with a call.
8. You are Codependent
I may be clingy and Imay have a higher tolerance for spending time with people but I do not depend on you as much as you may like to think I do, expecting to hear "I love you" back is a reasonable ad not a sign of codependence.
9. They make u feel insecure
If I could begin to start with how I boost you up every chance I get you only ever do it when I am on the verge of an anxiety attack or all you out because I feel as if you only keep me around to take everything I am willing to give, as some sort of weird ego boost. You ever put effort into making sure I feel secure in your feelings and our relationship because you ignore what I say, make it about you and are not willing to listen to what I say as criticism and grow from it.
10. They're abusive (verbally, physically, sexually... Get help and get out!)
I punched you once.
11. You change yourself to be what they want (they don't love you for you)
I always have to sacrifice my feelings and side with you because all you care about is yourself.
12. You're unhappy
Sadly, I am happy and I don't kow if you are.
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