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Ramblings, Stories, Fantasies
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2020-03-26 21:43:52 (UTC)

Trust issues


4:16pm

Well, here goes nothing. Shared the info with Nascar. Oh well, I love trouble I guess 🤣😂

DD3 called. Think things are ok. Hopefully there’s an understanding and trust and things don’t get too weird. Hate to lose a 15 year friendship.

Other than that, cooked habanero chicken and Mexican rice for everyone for dinner. I won’t eat. I might make some soup.

Chest is still hurting, still feels like a ton of bricks on it, but have increased on my smoking the past day. Trying not to, but I have the alcohol smell around all the time, even tho I’m not drinking. So not sure what’s going on with that.

I am getting tired. Always tired. Nothing new there.

I’m uncertain about a few things in my life, but I will wing it. It’s called try to trust.....never goes well for me.
(Deep sigh)
Well, too late. What’s done is done. I know DD2 wanted the link, I never sent it, I know for fact it would be one hell of an issue. I’m not going down that road. Scary enough to add Nascar to the list. I know DD1 is not going to say anything, and we love each other, but he’s not....what do they call it....emotionally attached, so he can question me or talk to me about something, and I know he will still talk to me 🤣😂

Funny I told him today, I would fly him out on my death bed, and his reply was “I wouldn’t be able to come out there”, wanted to smack him through the phone 🤣😂I told him, I knew you were all talk. We can joke with each other and it goes no where. It’s cool having a friend that you love and it’s unconditional. I’m lucky, I have two of them. It’s awesome. But took months getting there with one, chatting daily, and years with the other one....but soo worth the wait, and I know they feel the same about me.

(Brb)

Grandkids.....why they have to fight sooo much. Momma should be home soon to take over.

Then I’m going to grab my medications, some soup maybe, a shower, (I want to make brownies but too lazy) and I know I’ll eat them all and probably not a good idea 😂🤣. I don’t normally eat chocolate. I don’t drink soda either. I eat like a bird.

Anyho.....still indecisive on plans for this weekend. I know my son wants to get outa here. He said “buy food in town before we leave” we have no cases here. Soooo, because we normally go somewhere every weekend, I think he wants us to go somewhere, just be more careful. I hate to have him mope around all weekend. I will think about it and see how I’m doing tomorrow.

If I’m staying here, I may have to deal with Limp, and I don’t wanna. He will wreck my whole weekend. He’s an abusive douche. I’m not in the mood, nor do I have the energy to deal with him.

But.....I GTG!!


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