new lessons in frailty
on top of everything fucking else, over the past few weeks this mole on my forehead is changing colour, shape texture, darkening around the edges - aka all the classic skin cancer warning signs. why not add cancer to the mix bby. my brother has a history of skin cancer. called my (shit) doctor, booked an appointment for thursday - in the clinic, like it was any other day and not in the midst of global pandemic. zero (0) screening questions of any kind. how. there are ~4000 asymptomatic cases circulating in the com mun it y. fuck man. buckets of anxiety thinking about all the risk points to make this appointment. so yeah, downed a beer, went back and forth on it before deciding to pull the plug, wait a bit and hopefully they get a better and accurate handle on the covid. front row seats to RAMPANT cancer growth in the interim. the tiny side impacts of this thing are no joke and fuck. unbelievable how prone i am going into trauma response mode. my brain recoiling in fear. how much more can be precariously stacked. and there is limited emotional support to draw upon.