༺ ♡.PINKY.♡ ༻

Ramblings, Stories, Fantasies
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2020-03-24 23:41:16 (UTC)

🦋DD1🦋

I can’t sleep.

Battling the tears. Not sure why.
Angry.
Disappointed.

The urge to SH is huge.

How, does someone weed through thoughts, feelings, urges......
It bites. Ever had someone you’ve never met, consume your whole heart? It just feels like a single piece is missing to complete you? And sadly, you know, it would never work? You’d end up having the person you love hate you, like others do?

(Brb)

7:17pm

Ended up giving the 4 boxes of food away to my neighbor. She has grandkids so I know they can use it. She offered money but I said no.

Came home after dropping it off and got a video from DD1.
My heavens.....🦋 the butterflies 🦋 I get, even after almost a year....sheesh. I just wanna run my fingernails over that bald head of his 😂🤣. Was upset when he shaved it, but, doesn’t change who he is, and I still find him sexy. Sad, how my heart says one thing and my head something different. I’d like to think that things could be different, but, not certain.

DD2 has been online, never returned my calls, so I will ignore his call this afternoon. I don’t care what excuse he gives.

Barbie decided to spam call me, after I gave the food away. I explained, I have more, just had no room in both freezers for the last 4 boxes of food, so refused to drive at dark and needed to get rid of it so it didn’t go to waste. She has been busy smokin her stupid wax.

I’ve decided to get off FB for awhile. I’m sick of seeing DD2 on. So, easiest way to avoid it, remove the app. I already blocked DD2 friends list because his ex is on his list an that’s who he’s chatting with.

But.....I’m going to call Nunya & DD3 tomorrow. .....
And with that, going to grab my medications and hope this headache, tears, shakes, chills, and depression slip away while I sleep.


P.S......
Finally divorced almost 9 months ago after being married 16 years. Feels great.


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