I wish, even though it's stupid...I wish I was dead and my father was still alive. I know it makes no sense, but I have to hide and try to be strong in public. I can write here and express my true thoughts. I wish I could have taken my father's place and he would be alive to spend time with my mom. I know everyone would be sad, but...I just feel a part of me is missing. It's a struggle to go on day-to-day. I am not a good friend right now and it just sucks that I cannot be a better person. My father would be so much better alive.