Im Ready to Go
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2020-03-20 21:54:35 (UTC)


My chest feels heavy. Like there is this weight on top of me. I feel alone. I want someone to love me the way I love other people. I want someone to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. I want someone to think about me when Im not around. I want someone who won't stop asking when I insist that I'm fine. I want someone to understand how I feel, but I don't want to tell them. I want someone to know me. I want to die. I feel guilty for wanting to kill myself after everything I have put everyone through, but that's not fucking fair. They don't get to make me out as the selfish one when they aren't the ones having to live with the way I feel. They don't get to have an opinion on how I cope when they are the ones who put me here. I keep imagining myself falling. Falling is so peaceful. I want to feel the wind on my back as the ground gets closer. I want to slice into myself. I want to make a nice thick cut for the blood to flow out. I want to feel the sting as air moves across it. I want to feel time stop as I think about it being my last day. I want to look upon the world one last time for the last time.

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