At times, the feeling to write comes long before the words themselves. I find myself in quite the predicament then. In other times, there are certain words I'm not allowed to use for fear of certain eyes. I don't have the option to be selective though, so the need to share outweighs fear, I suppose.
I put on an old playlist today while cleaning my room. It took hours but I noticed the songs now come with overriding positive associations. The relief of it has certain sweetness. It made me think of memory correction. Mainly, I thought about how "judging people by their actions" is only a half statement, because even actions have different interpretations at times. Intentions must be taken into consideration. And I think a beneficial skill at this stage is not to be ready in broadcasting your opinion but to keep an open mind regarding possibilities. But, I digress.
I want to talk of happiness that comes from relief, from comfort, from solving conflict… Even as I write this I'm struggling to find the right words, but what keeps trying to come to mind in this haze of sleepiness is an image of a river flowing. It's not running but… it's a smooth stream, as if there might be something dancing in the water instead, floating, gliding happily because it's not so much about going anywhere or achieving something. It's just the simple joy that you're not going to hit a dam.
I like it when I have a good feeling I can't put into words. Then it's for me and I get to keep it because I'm most vulnerable when I'm happy. Still, I'd like to give recognition to the cause, and if it's another person then there's the possibility of sharing.
So here are my words, a simple attempt yet possibly far too serious as well, I know. I can't help it though. I get a little poetic during these hours.