Broken Glass Park
No One Cares About Me
I had a realization yesterday that can help me through work even more. Every day is survival. Mentally, it's too much. Physically, it's not too much, but I have to do a hell of a lot to have the energy to make it through the day. And I think I'm drained physically by what's going on, mentally. Mentally, I'm in hell. Everyone there thinks it's hell because it's fast food and it does suck. I will not say which fast food restaurant because I'm trying to be as anonymous, as possible.
Yeah, I don't know what it is for them - maybe the fast-paced nature of it and the overall stress of it, mainly coming from that. Also, for some of them, rude-ass customers. For me, it's being constantly ignored by who I work with - dismissed, as in people saying, "Anyways..." or yesterday, an "okay" from someone I thought could be a friend. No, just another dumb-ass kid. Why are people freaking out over mean customers, when the employees around them are jerks? Maybe they aren't jerks to them. Only to me. People think they can treat me this way. Not sure why. And if i stand up for myself, as I'm sure might be suggested by anyone reasonable, I get in trouble. So, I just have to silently take it all and hope there will be kind, decent people in my life, some day. Also... that's what I didn't say yet, my realization - All the managers there are just kids. It's true. It's very annoying! But... it gives me perspective and I can relax... I am older and wiser than them. I only have to put up with them and I can do so in a calm, mature manner and never let them really get to me ever again!
The problem in my life is loneliness. I can't even go to therapy anymore because I'll have to practically beg them every single week, if I can get out an hour early on one day. I asked twice and left them a note and it still didnt happen. I'm not going through the stress of it every single week, just to be ignored.
No one cares about me. ☹☹☹ But, why should I care when everyone around me are dumb kids and/or ignorant adults!?
It really, really sucks, though.