Nobody Knows
My life...
Lately, I've been feeling ..
Lately, I've been feeling off. Part of me says I'm depressed, but the other part of me says I'm not, that I'm faking it, and that I don't deserve to be depressed even if I was. I don't talk to anybody about how I feel, but my mind is telling me that even thinking I'm depressed is looking for attention, and that I'm just being dramatic. I don't really know whats going on. I'm missing so much school, only going 1-2 a week, on a good week. My mom found out I'm failing 6/8 classes and is making me feel worse about it. I'm already stressing that I won't pass this grade and I won't ever graduate. I think I'm distancing myself from my friends, barely talking even in person because I'm scared I'll talk about this thing I'm feeling and they won't believe me. So I just don't say anything, I listen to their problems and let them think I don't have any of my own. I can't stand the sight if myself. My family and friends always tell me how pretty I look, that they like my hair/makeup/clothes, but all I see is my ugliness, weirdness, fatness. I feel like I don't deserve to feel anything bad like this and I'm making it a bigger deal than it needs to be. I mean there are people out there depressed and hurting so much that they're killing themselves over it, while I have a good life and no reason at all to feel bad about myself or sad about anything.
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