Eel

Breakage

I reinvented myself. that seems to be the word that's sticking - reinvention.
It's becoming clear that there are things I wanna try. Like drag. Which is so embarrassing to admit to myself because I might just like the way it's glamorized. It's a lot of work, time, effort, to do drag...And it is performance art.
But outside of that, I do want to reinvent myself. Which is maybe why I find drag such an attractive option - the ability to step outside of that comfort zone and be another part of yourself.
So I was productive today. Sorted out my clothes for donation, whitened my teeth, folded some laundry. I lit another candle. Maybe if I make the bed I'll actually know what true tranquility feels like. But I have this thing in my mouth a lot. And I hate the collection of spit it likes to have. I feel like I have to wash this with alcohol and fire. idc.
I guess smoking before I do it helps because it dries my mouth out. Ha. Ha.
I have issues.
The new monitor and keyboard is incredible. It makes me want to type and look at my computer all the time. I guess they just needed an upgrade, and definitely got one. This monitor is fucking huge, I love it. And the keyboard has a rainbow background. You better work.
I still don't think I'm gaining any weight so I have to start eating more. And I've been trying, but it's hard when most of your life is either sleeping or working.
These teeth gon' look whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiite as a redneck.
I have to start loving myself a little more I guess. I met the doctor. He thinks he's cute. I'm whatever about it.
Truly, I think I'm reducing interactions with men. My expectations are far too low right now.
Politician is good. Gonna keep watching it. Queueing up another game of Overwatch.
I'm okay with my break. I'm okay with reinvention. I think I can do it.
And I think I just might.