Bauhaus

Daily journal
2020-02-11 17:23:21 (UTC)

Opening up

[Written Thursday, 30 January 2020, 21:30]

The drive to the client this morning passed in more silence than normal.
It was a comfortable silence, or at least not an awkward one.
I deliberately did not ask Bianca how her appointment at the psychologist went yesterday. I felt like it may be too pushy, too personal for me to ask about.
So I held my tongue, and we drove mostly in silence. Some small talk here and there, but nothing significant.

Today was Bianca’s last day for a while. For the next week, she’s on leave. On holiday with her family and hopefully managing some emotional and mental healing.
We actually worked a half hour later than normal today, cause Bianca wanted to finish some things up. It’s worth noting that the things she was working on was actually my work that she was helping me out with.

The drive back to the office was more eventful.
Bianca opened up on her own about her session with the psychologist. About how she’s struggling to let herself cry and stop suppressing emotions.
After that, we talked about our studies a bit. Bianca made a comment that touched on how she failed at her studies last year. At this point I was feeling that it was a bit unfair how Bianca had been sharing some pretty personal things with me but I wasn’t really giving her much in return. Her comment seemed like a good segue for me to share something with her. So I told her about how my academics were all good and how I never failed anything, until I tried the CTA course for the first time. I spoke about how I failed miserably. And about how I picked myself back up for a second try.
I’m not entirely sure why, but after telling her about that and a bit of further discussion with her reactions, I then asked her if I could tell her a second story. Maybe the first story just made it so easy to offer a second, maybe I just wanted to open up more to her, maybe I just needed to. But I told her about Talita. Pretty much the whole story I’ve already set out in an earlier entry. [The one called "Remembering primary school"]

I feel closer to her after that. More.... friendly.
And all it took was my most personal secret.
I even told her that I would answer any question she asks as honestly as I can. I wonder if she knows how serious I was. I wonder if she realises that it wasn’t just true for that conversation, that I meant it in a broader and more permanent sense.




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