Honeybee

Metamorphosis
2020-02-05 23:38:06 (UTC)

Stay awake with me

I started writing an entry, then it sounded off. It sounded like it was filled with self-pity masquerading as postmodern jargon. I'm better off with a simple update instead because there's still a need to write.

The room is my sanctuary once again. I expect I'll hear from C tomorrow night or the day after. I mean, of course he's missing. Of course. But I've stopped assuming everything is my fault, therefore some of the responsibility to immediately fix the situation has waned a bit. It's his move now. Now that he's not here in the evenings, I was able to get back to some reading. I'll finally finish DAMNED. I feel like having a chocolate cake in bed while binge-watching some kind of series.

I like how not assuming he's there for me is actually making me feel less lonely than I thought. Or so it seems. I shouldn't chase after anyone to be my friend. I should just stop relying on other eyes beside my own.


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