Prepositions of Psyche
I forced myself to get up eventually. I tried to vacuum, did the dishes, put the food in the oven and finished preparing worksheets for Geo's session today. I managed to do it all in time. When I was printing out the papers, mom called me back. Of course, she could tell from my voice that something was up, and to tell you the truth, I was sort of counting on it. I told her I was upset because of a conversation with C and she replied with a calm and stern; "Tell me."
I did. I gave her a brief version of what was said and why I was angry and though I decided to withhold judgement and making a concrete decision, I'm still going to embrace my anger and just acknowledge that that's the reality at the moment. She responded in agreement, saying that I was a mature adult and that I'm handling my emotions well and that I have needs of my own as an individual. She came to C's defense, actually, in reminding me that a decision still can't be made with speculation and distance, which was very endearing to me. Mom did come to my aid in my reaction, however, and agreed that I need to simply feel what I'm feeling. So that was like a breath of fresh air and it calmed me so much to be able to talk to her.
I walked to work listening to my favorite Wombats songs which simply made me want to dance. I laughed with Fay during our session and it felt nice and genuine. Geo came next for two hours, who was as adorable as a button and showed good grasp of the material. Then there was Lune, who was tired and sleepy and in all honesty, I could relate. She guiltily admitted she was not herself and that she was sleepy but I assured her that with the late hour and the cold weather, we should all be in bed. I locked up, saying goodnight to my superiors who finished at the same hour, and walked home resuming the same playlist.
Here I am now, back in my room. I'm logged out of both instagram accounts for some peace and quiet. Nothing from C of course and I don't feel the need to reach out to him. I just want to be alone. Maybe I'll finally catch up on my reading tonight. I have to plan a trip to the city for next week. There are some friends that I'm starting to miss like crazy.