Wr1tt3n0ne

Bunches and bunches
2020-02-04 12:42:27 (UTC)

Say Ahhhh! And Open Your Mouth a Bit Wider!

Yes, I think I might just do so. My lips are glossed in Victoria's Secret fruit flavored reddish sheen. I find it odd that they are sticky, already. LOL. I am in good spirits! It has been quite the week, what with my late Christmas and all. The morning of Christmas was relocated to the evening which pushed Christmas Eve to the few hours before. However, I was born to be a Christmas miracle and I am, so it went off beautifully.

My Christmas tree is glittering behind me a mess of homemade ornaments, memories and multi-colored twinkling lights. Home as home should be. Warm and inviting, nostalgic and traditional, everywhere I want be.

My weekend was dominated by Christmas and meeting with my alumnae group. I went to a very good school whose alumnae still impact my life. I give money, humble, tiny amounts, naturally, to my Alma mater. College was a stepping away point where I finalized the pivot away from my family and its orbit to me and my new life. I was newly married when I went off to the school of my dreams, think ivy on brick with stone steps. I recruit for them on occasion and I interview candidates for them. I even earned a star next to my name for giving for some consecutive years. I adore the school and the type of students it turns out are my kind of people. They have an academic and personal depth to their relationships with other alumnae that constantly makes me proud to be counted amongst their ranks. I don't mind the doors the name has opened for me or the gravitas it gives my work.

So while social occasions where I know not a soul tend to make me justifiably nervous, I felt basically at ease meeting my all new alumnae group. So at ease, in fact, that I lingered until the very last, making connections. Finally, I picked up after the group on my way out and discovered one of us had left a reusable trifle behind. I posted a picture up on the website and in no time was conversing with the owner. We arranged to meet and I invited her to brunch with me and my husband. Fascinating conversation when we finally surfaced for air hours had passed. Theirs is a largely absent authenticity to my other social interactions that is forever present in the witty banter of my fellow alumnae. It is without a doubt the single best part of the school. And it continues to impress me some nearly fifteen years out from my graduation.

But their was an awkward moment where a fellow alumni asked me for my blog. I gave it out. And then they mentioned they had a few contacts in the journalism arena, primarily for the LGBTQ community. I wound up stuttering out something to the effect that I was supportive of that in my blog. I wasn't composed enough in the moment to point out I am a member and often my blog explores this.

I keep this part of my life rather under wraps. I have all the usual reasons that I wish to point out are not necessarily great reasons, at least in my particular situation. I have been out to my family, though as they discussed in front of me this last visit, it was clearly a phase. That was beyond awkward as some of my family shot me glances about wasn't I going to correct my father. Um, no. That can of worms can remain closed. And he had brought it up at a funeral, so where's the appropriate segue to "May he rest in peace, and Dad I still am bisexual, I was never gay." I'm pretty talented with my words but in both these circumstances, they failed me utterly. To my alumni friend, do I blurt it out about my sexuality when it was maybe slightly inferred I was straight. I confess it has never come up for me because I am adept at avoiding the issue with parties I care not to clue in. Until recently that has been the world at large that is firmly in the avoidance camp. But now I have told my kids, in general ways, of course, and my husband has known for quite a while. All my dear friends are clued in as well. H*ll, even some of my family is in the know.

I need to find a way to insert it as necessary, no pun intended, into my more casual contacts especially when I give out my blog. It is too jarring to expect my blog to do the explaining. I am not ashamed, just used to keeping it totally private. Is there a quiet, tasteful way to mention it and drop it from the conversation so that my new readers have some idea it is covered. I will meditate on it. There must be, where are my Millennials, seems like the generation to ask.




Ad: