All Things Erotic
Today marks the anniversary of my erotic project, which I think makes it two years now. I've been contemplating writing about it but eventually decided that if I don't, then it would be like trying to lie to myself.
So, two years ago I've started a project that later on taught me a great deal. As an outlet for my sex deprivation but also having to remain faithful to C, I turned to art and writing as I usually do. I started an instagram account and blog under a different name. The blog was for fantasies and erotic stories while Instagram was where my drawings were posted.
It all started easily enough. My work became recognised as people seemed to genuinely like it. Gradually I found my footing in the known artist circle in that small community. Popular artists began following back and liking my work, giving me more exposure. What first started from a basic need now developed into a real growing project. I started taking the art very seriously, trying to pin down a style. My simply written fantasies developed into novel ideas. Though it sharpened my skills and imagination, it also made me lose my footing for a while regarding the identity of the whole endeavor. I was taking things too seriously again.
Not to mention the dark side of the whole thing; the unwarranted dick pics, the asking for nudes, pretending to want to be drawn then asking for nudes, asking for sex (without speaking a word of English even), the assumption that I'm a slut, the assumption that I'm asking for it, the assumption that I have to sleep around in order to get material for my art. My god, the fucking assumptions. It's a whole new level of people who have not heard of common decency.
I have to admit though, to bring this back to the positive, I was shocked to discover that my mind was what built the image in these predators' heads that I'm such a desirable woman. My skills made me desirable. And as much as they epically failed in making their primitivism attractive, they wanted me without ever seeing me. I have to admit, I didn't expect that at all. I know we're talking about raw fucking here but still, I discovered I had it in me. And that's not at all bad for a virgin.