ish

ish
2020-01-29 09:35:40 (UTC)

childish enbattlement....

unbearable.....i hurt beyond belief....my trust my all has been comprimised beyond recognition...my thoughts not straight my fight..i just want to kick something hit something.......this is more than i can bear......to be so cast aside ....why couldnt you wait till this has mellowd .............i have no desire no will....dont care.....and im not sure why....this cant be all cuse of him...i refuse to believe that im so raw he could so easily distory me.....and seems he would without second thought......so sence would say why wait around for the ax to drop lol ha ha ha ha ha ha ah ah ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahha fuck you........i guess i deserve this...cuse i wont have or deal with this kind of thing again....i deplore any more the idea of any man.....to lead me into a since of false hope then withdraw slowly ....and when i protest in being tired of being alone....there still isnt any understanding that i wanted to still be with him......so him being on was even more brutal....how hateful to be so misunderstanding.....when i have been so alone and suffering just wanting to be with you .........im seeming to work my way out of it im hoping.....that love is becoming bitter and i cannot truely help it .......just so simple to ease it all and well too fucking busy with rl that he wasnt honest about..wtf girl why you bothing with some dude that hasnt the time of day for you............he will be fine without you.....no doubts......he was fine when he didnt pay you any mind .....but got hurt when you left..??? really that is ego not love......so fuck it all dont talk to me...i am numb to it or im working on numbness........never ever again.....will i waste my time on a man that blows smoke up my ass.....how fucking nieve ...........this wasnt about the sex....was so much more....but i was insecure on it for so long and i was blamed for that insecurity.........but in truth when comes to light...was cuse i felt something the complete picture........all the vids all the pages.....and he questiond why i researched him..why woudnt i..what the fuck do you have to hide.....and then treat me as if i will jepridize or harm someone in your rl family....how insulting...fuck you........if anything was curious damn.....how betrade.....and yet i am willing to over look that.....cuse of how i feel..........in vain..in vain.....i recall when first we together.how lacking you where with trust cuse your cunt of an x would mess around behind your back......see i would never do that.....when you on and i felt absence great .....the one and only time i cheated.....i still told you as much.....and hope if maybe anything you gained some trust of me....but i dont think you ever did.........and thats sad cuse most people know me for my honesty...you will never know me as im truely am....only that wish you choose to see...........so its pointless for me..you have already written the book...and im not longer a player in the script seems..........not even a word to sooooooooth me when i have put up with so much from you......waiting always..and my patience wares....never really told much...but am expected to recall stuff you said 2 weeks ago....ffs....you set me up to fail....and then when i react...yeah fuck it....just let me hand you the knife so you can plunge again........your the one that is so fucking butt hurt.....trade you.........fine .....dont bother then..wouldnt want to submit you to my horrible company....and thankyou for fucking up my sl.....hate you..hate you..hate you.....




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